Attack of the Fangirls!

Part 6

As Yanni and Pear entered the throne room, it was conveniently the case that the King and Queen were still there and otherwise unoccupied. Yanni gestured for the old woman to go to the King for her audience.

Queen Juliet narrowed her eyes, her queen-sense tingling. She had an inborn ability to sense fangirls, and saw through the old woman's disguise. But was it too late?!?

Queen Juliet stood on her very high, designer heels, and pointed at Pear. "You! You're a fangirl!"

Immediately the guards surrounded Pear. Before they could lay hands on her, she flourished her magic quill, and they were flung backwards against the walls. That was, all except for Yanni the Defender. He was very well-trained, his techniques hardened over years of battling fangirls.

Yanni readied his spear, but didn't dare throw, lest he hit the King or Queen. As he readied himself to charge, Pear held up her hand, freezing everyone in the room. "Stop it! I'm too old and lazy to fight! I'm not here for hugs or kisses, you fools!"

King Andy narrowed his glinting, cerulean-azure-steely grey eyes at Pear, and she had to suppress the natural, fangirl impulse to squeal. To keep her head, she had to turn away. "If you give me the greatest gift, that most meaningful of gestures, I shall leave in peace!"

King Andy looked around him, at the fallen, injured guards. Though Yanni the Defender had the evil Pear in the sights of his spear, he might well hit the lovely Queen Juliet if he threw!

Quickly, Andy made the decision. He couldn't abide by anyone else getting hurt, because he was actually a very nice guy. "Enough! If it is a hug you must have, then come fetch it! But you must leave my palace in peace afterwar-"

Pear snorted. "I don't want a hug, man, that's nuts! You'd totally die!"

Mildly embarrassed at being wrong, yet curious, Andy lifted one of his extremely on point eyebrows. "Then what, pray tell, do you want, evil one?"

Pear, despite having difficulty concentrating in the King's presence, was able to focus on her goal. She didn't even tear up, she was so old and hardened. She pointed with one wizened, withered claw at the King. "I want a high-five!"

Andy sputtered. "You don't wish to assassinate me? What about the Pale Emperor?"

Pear shook her head and shrugged. "Hugging is really pretty personal, don't you think? Especially given its effects on royals, it's a bit extreme. It's not my fault that Manson hugged me."

And thus, King Andy did give the most ancient, most grumpy of fangirls a high-five. And so the King and his Queen were safe, and She Who Shall Not Be Named Directly went off into the Wilderness, quite tickled pink and feeling bashful. Everyone lived happily ever after, more or less.