Warpaint | Clexa (Completed)

Chapter 20: Let Her Go

Clarke heard the doors creak open and Lexa enter the room carefully. She calmly continued collecting her clothes and belongings together.

She could feel Lexa's eye on her for quite sometime before Lexa finally said, "What are you doing?"

"Collecting my stuff," Clarke replied calmly. "I will vacate the room before sundown, don't worry, Commander."

Lexa noticed the coldness in her voice when she said the word Commander.

She gulped. She honestly had no idea what she could tell Clarke to make her feel any better.

"I didn't ask you to leave... I don't want you to leave," Lexa said.

Clarke finally turned to face Lexa. Lexa's heart skipped a beat as she saw Clarke. Clarke's eyes were red and puffy, the light in them gone out.

"You did actually, just in a roundabout way," Clarke said. The strange calm in her voice scared Lexa. The Clarke she knew was hot-headed and impulsive. Not this calm and composed under distress.

Lexa walked closer to Clarke in a desperate attempt to get through to her. "I tried to tell you today morning, Clarke. I am the Commander. I will always have to take decisions for my people even if..."

"Tell me what Lexa?" Clarke said, her voice cracking through the calm she had imposed upon herself. "That you are getting married to the daughter of the man who killed my father and imprisoned me? And what? You're keeping me in the sidelines with some stupid decorated post as a guard?"

"I... I didn't realise that would offend you Clarke. I just wanted-"

"To keep me in the sidelines, like I said." Clarke said, raising her voice. "You might be the mighty Commander, Lexa, and I might be in love with you, but never for one second take my love as weakness. You don't get to marry someone and come to me seeking comfort whenever you are hurt."

"Clarke," Lexa said, her voice cracking. She fought back the tears threatening to spill. What had she done. "You're free to do as you choose. And I... Yes, I was wrong I see. It wasn't my intention to disrespect you in any way..."

"A little too late for that, Commander. A little too late for everything."

"I had to do this. There wasn't any other option."

"There is always another option, Alexandra."

"How else would you have me forge an alliance?"

Clarke smiled through her tears," That's the difference between you and me, Lexa. You'd always be my priority. Not some alliance.... But then, maybe I'd feel different if I had a clan..."

"You are NouKru, Clarke."

"Oh please, we both know that's bullshit. Seriously, why did you appoint me Lexa? I'd be a lousy guard?"

"There's noone I trust with my life more." Lexa said, and sat down, burying her head in her hands. "I'm sorry Clarke. I'm so sorry."

Clarke knelt down in front of Lexa till their faces were at the same level. She looked into those dark green eyes and all she could see was pain and hurt. At the end of the day, this was just a nineteen year old carrying the burden of the world on her shoulders. For a second, Clarke almost forgave her. Almost. And then she remembered that she would soon no longer to able to spend time like this with Lexa.

"Don't...don't do this Lexa...please..."

"Come with me to Polis, please."

"You realize what you're asking from me, right?"