Kill Me Once Shame on Me, Kill Me Twice Shame on You

Dark Soul

"Well what exactly did you expect me to do? Go off and learn how to make cute little cupcakes to sell to children?" Ryan snorts as he stuffs his clothes into a backpack.

"Well no, I had just thought maybe you know. It would help you if you didn't continue doing what you were forcefully trained to do. Maybe it would help you cope and let go." Brenden says helping the mutant pack up the little that they brought with them to the quick stay hotel.

"I'm not quitting what I do." Ryan immediately snaps suddenly on the defensive against the only thing he knows what to do. The only thing he had been taught. "Besides, it's not like you've changed. You're the one that trained me."

"But I'm not the one being haunted by my past." Brenden points out coming up behind Ryan to hug him from behind, his arms wrapped around the shorter's waist as he slowly rocks them from side to side in hopes of calming the Assassin. "I just think maybe you could give it a try maybe?" The master of martial arts says softly into the darker blondes ear, giving the shell a soft kiss.

"No I can't." Dark Soul says pulling away after a moment, not calm enough to cuddle in the dominant ones arms despite the deep temptation to just lose himself in a dreary day of being lazy and warm while laying next his lover. Their bare skin flush with each other as Ryan is held tightly in Brendan's arms. Safe. He could feel safe there for a little while.

'No' he thoroughly reminds himself. He has a job to get done. This one's supposed to be big. Something important that could get him the identification he needs to be able to easily get tickets, more calls, jobs he very seriously needs. To actually be able to support himself with a stable income rather than slipping out of the hotel windows so they could avoid the pricey stay.

"I'm just worried we can't keep up with this lifestyle. You know?" Brendan says looking down at him with light eyes. "What if something happens, one of us gets hurt?"

Ryan doesn't waste his time pointing out his ability as a mutant is to at the easiest description not having the ability to permanently get hurt. His full powers in the ability to heal had suffered during his youthful torture and had degraded and was sufferable to certain injuries but that was besides the point. He knew what Brenden was really saying. They had had the argument a few times before and it had separated them for a few days once.

What happens if Ryan is caught? If they ever found out Brenden was affiliated with the program Ryan had been trapped in? Or if Ryan got Brenden hurt because of his occupation then what? It only took the larger man two long stays in the hospital to figure out he wasn't readily willing to help Ryan out on his missions anymore. Ryan himself had been worse off but he had a healing factor to counter it.

"Brenden I promise. I get this job done we'll be set for a few years. I'll stop long enough for us to build a life. I promise, please." Ryan says looking up at the unconfident man after turning around his the others hold.

"Ryan this isn't safe. I can't let you do this forever. You're very skilled and I know you want to get up there but it's hurting you. I can see that and you need to stop. This isn't fun anymore okay. The adrenaline isn't exhilarating or exciting it's just scary." Brenden says very firmly looking down at his Boyfriend, his tone dangerously serious.

"After this last one I promise. I won't drag you with anymore." The young man says.

"You don't drag me. You never have." Brenden says. It had become his duty as a friend to go with the younger male to collect his remains when he was stupid and wait for him to come to again. After becoming his lover he took it on himself to try and straighten him out (only in certain areas. It would do him not good to completely straighten out his lover. He focussed on his state of mind for the most part) "Are you sure you can? You're not the first to attempt it. No one else has survived trying to off him."

"I will." Ryan says confidently.

Brendan sighs. Why didn't Wade understand?

Justa reminder that Ryan is Wade Ryan Wilson.