Secrets Between Bois

The Wake

We arrived about forty minutes into the wake. Per the norm all eyes were on us as we entered. Janelle tried to sit in the back, unknowingly next to Kyng & her security, but I knew Momma had saved us a seat up front with the rest of the immediate family. I ushered us to the third row & we sat listening to the choir sing a few of my grandmother's favorite hymns & people speaking highly her.

The emotion in the room was so heavy & intense that I could feel tears welling in my eyes. I held strong as long as I could -I couldn't let em see me cry.

Once I reached my breaking point, I whispered to Janelle that I'd be right back then i got up & went to the restroom.

Upon entering the spacious washroom, I made sure no one else was in there before plopping down on the dated floral patterned couch where I proceeded to break down. I sobbed quietly for a few seconds before Janelle texted asking if I was alright. I told her yes & that I was in the back talking to one of my cousins because I didn't want her to come back here & see me like this.

Just as I got up to wash my face I hear the restroom door creak open. I keep my gaze to the floor & quickly move to splash water on my face.

"Ay...You good Boi Boi?" a familiar voice asked as I felt a hand lightly squeeze my shoulder.

I looked up through tear stained, water splashed eyes to see Kyng peering at my with concern & consolation in her eyes.

"Yeaman. Was jus running late. Didn't getta chance to piss before I left the house."

I definitely wasn't going to let her see me like this.

"Oh ok. I saw you dip out & figured you was feelin' like it was too much...like me..."

"Maaan it's HEAVY in there ain't it?" I exclaimed, furthering the conversation.

"Who you tellin' Brody!" she cosigned. "Shit this why I don't do funerals now!

"Word. It's crazy how many people were impacted by her though...." I solemnly trailed off.

She plopped down on the couch and palmed her face. I suddenly felt that same heavy feeling I was trying to escape in the sanctury.

I sat back in my initial spot on the couch next to her as she dropped her gaze and exhaled deeply, rubbing at one of her now tear glazed eyes. I leaned in, realizing that her's was the sorrow I was feeling.

That's not to say I wasn't sad about losing my grandmother...She'd lived a long full life and had become terminally ill in old age...She'd suffered along while and was ready to go. My mother & I found comfort in knowing she had found her sweet release -yet another reason I wasn't trying to cry at her funeral.

Anyway!

I leaned in, observing her actions, and returned her question, "You good Boi Boi?"

"Ye-yea..I jus had a eyelash or somn in my eye." Her voice waivered a bit as she lied.

She sniffed & cleared her throat adjusting her posture. I scooted closer, using my arm to rub gentle circles on her back. I wasn't expecting her to lay her head on my shoulder so I initially tensed up but quickly relaxed, allowing her to come closer to me.

"This shit remind me of Big Mama passin'.." She sniffled into my sweater.

Her voice was sad and childlike, her eyes were tightly shut, tears streaming as she began to quietly sob into me. I sat silently relishing this moment of intimacy. In this instant she wasn't the Kyng everybody else knew. She was my closest friend and first love.

My mind flashed through our childhood memories of the times we'd slept like this, cuddled up..I craddled her in my arms and instinctually planted a small kiss on her forehead. I heard a pause in her sniffling. She looked up at me with sorrow filled eyes and I was again reminded why I had fallen for her in the first place. This side of her...her vulernability..

Kyng, a normally macho, hard body bad ass, was now this soft, fragile girl laying in my arms & my first inclination was to save her.

I tilted her head up catching a tear drop as it descended her warm cheek. She raised herself just enough for our lips to connect. I felt a surge of passion as we briefly embraced.

We were interrupted by a thud as the door swang open hitting the wall behind it. We both jumped & pulled away in time to see a little girl no older than 5 or 6 run passed us into a stall. After couple seconds we hear a long steady pouring sound.

"Damn. Shortie really had to go." Kyng chuckled.

"Word." I nodded in agreement, "She been holdin that for awhile." We both snickered at my comment then fell silent as the little girl passed us exiting the restroom just as expeditiously as she'd entered.

We busted out laughing once she left. The buzz of an incoming texts interrupted our laughter. We both checked our phones and I see Janelle had text me asking if I was ok.

"Welp guess I better get back there." I yawned as I raised from the couch into a body stretch.

"Yeap. I ain't come all this way to sit in a bathroom." she concurred as she followed me to the door. "Ayo." she stopped me with a quick tap on my shoulder and I turned to see what she wanted. "Thanks man." She extended her hand & as I shook it she pulled me in for a hug. "For everthing."

"Of course Bruh." I said hugging her back. "You my nigga." I felt her lips gently graze my neck as we pulled apart. I shot her a confused look then quickly shrugged it off and walked away. I made it back to the sanctuary in time to hear the closing sentiments. The Pastor announced that there was food being served in the dining hall. As I sat down Janelle leaned in giving me a concerned look.

"What were you doing? You missed almost the whole service!" She fussed in a whisper.

"My bad Love. It got too heavy in here. I needed a break." I said hoping not to have to go any further into detail.

"Ok." she nodded in acceptance of my short answer. "Well your mom asked if we would stick around for a little bit and help clean up. I said we would." I rolled my eyes.

"Ugh Bae! I'm ready to go home tho...I don't feel good." I whined in a whisper.

"Well suck it up!" she scoffed as we exited the service.

She headed towards the table where a couple of the church ladies were already serving the some guests. One of the ladies said something to her & she nodded & walked to kitchen. I found my mom being shushed & shooed out of the serving area by another Sister.

"Evie go get a plate & sit down somewhere! We got this. Let us take care of you." said the sister as my mother continued to protest her command.

Momma finally conceded when the lady walked her to a table, pulled out a chair & set a plate full of food in front of her. Just as Momma was sitting down I watched people flock to her around the table giving well wishes & love & whatnot. I made my way through the small crowd of arms squeezes & shoulder pats, the I'm-sorry-for-your-loss's heading to my mom's side. I knelt down beside her as she popped a fork of food in to her mouth.

"Momma. You mind if I take off?", I asked in a fatigued voice. "My stomach is giving me hell & I've been nursing a headache since the installers left your place," I rubbed my temple in an attempt to make my story more believable, although I figured she would since I've never been the type to play sick...

She furrowed her eyebrows and started to swallow- I'm assuming in order to say something.

"Janelle's gonna stay & help clean up tonight. Her car is at your house anyways. So I figured y'all could ride to your house afterwards then she could drive home." I added quickly before she could speak. I watched as she mulled it over in her head while still chewing.

"That's fine." She nodded as she spoke after finally swallowing that mouth full.

"Thank you Momma. I love you. I'll see you tomorrow." I hugged her & kissed her cheek before walking away.