Save The Date (A Drarry FanFiction)

Chapter Thirty Six

   Harry licked his lips, searching inside for the answer. It loomed in front of him before he could really question it. "I'm scared."

Fan leaned back in surprise. "Really?" she said, flummoxed. "Because you were willing to take on those armed skeletons with nothing more than a wooden stick." She tapped the bindle in the sand with her toe. "That seemed pretty brave to me."

Harry let out a mirthless laugh. "Not like that," he admitted, then looked at her, Rocky, and even BB8. The droid wobbled back and forth, giving the impression of a dog wagging its tail in encouragement. "I, uh..." He shook his head. "It's stupid."

"No it's not," Fan insisted.

So Harry took a breath and spoke before he could change his mind. "I'm scared he doesn't even know me, and if he did, why would he like me?" Or love me, he added silently. "I'm just a crazy elf who decided to trek through the lands on the off chance we really did know each other."

He stared at his shoes, feeling like the most foolish idiot to ever walk the world.

"Well," said Fan after a few moments pause. "I can safely say no one's ever done anything that romantic for me. How about you guys?" The bird and the droid shook their heads.

Harry laughed ruefully. "You're not getting it," he said, a touch of anger affecting his tone. "It's not romantic, it's madness. He's going to think I'm a lunatic."

Rocky shook his head in disbelief and flew over to land on his knee. "Why are you so pessimistic all of a sudden?" he asked. "Everybody loves you back home, you're one of the kindest and friendliest people I know."

Harry pulled at the edge of his green tunic, not willing to meet anyone's eye. "But I've never been in love," he said quietly. "I don't...what if I'm not good enough for him?" A horrible voice deep inside him was whispering that maybe he wasn't worthy of being loved, and he imagined himself sitting all alone in a dark room. It was so strong, but he had no idea where it had come from. It wasn't a memory, was it? He'd not been that lonely as a child...had he?

"Oh Harry," said Fan, pulling him into a hug. "Listen, I've only just met you, but you seem like a great guy. As far as elves go, I can safely say you're the nicest I've met."

"And you're never going to know if he does or doesn't like you," challenged Rocky. "If you give up now and don't even try." BB8 zipped back and forth as he bleeped. "Exactly, you're wasting time when you could be searching. BB8 wants to know what he looks like, says he and his friends can help keep an eye out if he comes this way."

Harry smiled weakly, then rubbed his eyes under his glasses. "Thank you," he told his friends in a small voice. "Thank you."

He couldn't let his doubt consume him. He'd been in the funniest of moods all morning; he wasn't supposed to think like this, Christmas Land was a place of hope and joy. What were these dark little worms in his mind?

He didn't know, but...they weren't going to get him anywhere, were they? They were trying to drag him back, pull him down, but that wasn't what he wanted. He wanted to go upwards and forwards and whatever else it took. He swallowed, and shook his head. "You're right, this is ridiculous. How will I know if I give up now? I need to keep going." He stood up and rolled his shoulders back. "We need to find him before the HSP do. So, where do we go next?"

"That's the spirit!" Fan cried, clapping him on the back.

"Good boy," Rocky agreed. "There's plenty of second level holidays we can try, and even more third. We can try and touch base with some of my battalion too, see if they've had any luck?"

BB8 bleeped, but Harry didn't need Rocky to interpret for him this time. "Thank you," he said. "Well, he's taller than me, with pale skin, white blond hair and silvery grey eyes. I'm afraid I don't know his name," he added apologetically, but BB8 gave several happy chirps and Harry assumed that was enough for him to get the word out. "Okay," he said more galvanised than ever. They were going to find his boy, and then Harry was finally going to learn his name. Everything after that, he would just have to leave up to fate. "So, are you certain he's not here?" he asked the droid one final time.

Rocky listened to his reply before interpreting. "He says he's sure, that the only...wait, what?" BB8 repeated himself, but Rocky just looked more confused. "He says the only disturbance in the force has been...you." He blinked and turned to Harry. "But, that doesn't make any sense?"

Harry had to agree. The force was the power the heroes used in the Star Wars films, it certainly wasn't something he could possibly have, and he told BB8 much. But the little droid rattled off another series of beeps, and Rocky shook his head.

"He says he doesn't know what you call it, but you definitely have the force, otherwise we wouldn't have been able to come to this land." He looked back towards the Millennium Falcon. "Huh."

"Right, well, whatever," said Fan firmly. "What matters most now is that the dream boy is not here, so we need to keep looking. BB8, any idea where we might find a portal to take us back up?"

The droid nodded, and skittered off at an alarming rate. Harry and the others had to chase after him, but he hardly registered where they were going at all.

What did he mean, that Harry had the force? That was impossible. He was just a simple elf from Christmas Land.

Wasn't he?