Dad (1)

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So it's 3:08 am and I'm laid here in this stupid bed , awake because I can't sleep because I know as soon as I fall asleep , even just for a second , dad is going to burst through the door , drunk . Every single night ! He stinks of alcohol , but I don't say anything , no I say absolutely nothing because I know if I do then one day he just won't come back...
The door handle shakes and I can just feel the anger flowing from behind the front door, he shoves the key in and violently slams it open , banging into the wall , he stares at me with his bloodshot eyes . I stand there hopelessly pretending I'm invisible or at least praying he won't shout
"The hell are you doing up Holly?! " he shouts , right up in my face . The smell of alcohol and cigarettes just flood around the hall way .
" I C-can't sleep dad I was just going to get a d-drink" I murmur. He smiles , not a pretty smile not a reassuring smile . A smile that reveals his crooked yellow teeth and when he does so the smell of alchohol becomes so strong I cough and once I do I can't stop so I just stand there coughing my guts out right infront of him.
"You trying to say my breath stinks or something? " he asks I shake my head
"Go to bed , I don't need little brats like you running about the house while I'm trying to watch telly"
"But dad you promised you'd help me with my homework"
"Do I look like I have time to do stupid paper work?!" He shouts his hands are red and cold and are gripping tightly to a chair to try and hide his anger
"But dad you promised me!"
"BED!" He screams I feel the tears coming up now , I hate crying in front of him it makes me feel stupid but I can't help it , but by now I'm crying the tears roll down my cheeks and drop onto my pyjama top. He stands there shaking a little out of anger , glaring at me. I look at him I look at his hair , it used to be a beautiful bronze colour and now it seems like all of the colour has been drained , his eyes look tired how sad and angry he is through them , he stands wearing his green jumper , the one mum bought him before she left that's when it all went wrong . When mum left.
I wipe my tears and go upstairs , throw myself into my bed and cry , I don't know how long for but my pillow was practically soaked by the time I'd finished . I just stared at my self in the mirror , I put my hands on my cold tear stained cheeks and wiped any last tears away .

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