Gabriel

48. Her Return

Sorry for the wait and any confusion with the update of PART III, it's just meant to split up the book into parts- it's not a chapter or anything like that. Apologies that this chapter is realllllyyyyyy short but I will be updating a legit chapter later this week.

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MAEVE

     It hurts. Everything hurts. The light hurts my eyes and it feels like I can't breathe. There's this pinching in my chest and it prevents me from taking in oxygen. It hurts so much that I can barely comprehend anything going on around me. The lights are too bright and I can't remember anything. Suddenly, I hear his voice and I know that I must be dreaming because Gabriel is never coming back for me so it wouldn't be possible even if I wanted it to be.

     It hurts and I just want it all to go away. I just want to forget everything. I just want to die. Worse than anything I just want my suffering to be over. I need to find away to make it all end. But I have no energy and my eyes hurt to much to open.

     So I turn it all off.

     A special skill that I've developed over the years of unending pain, I've built up a switch in my mind. I've only ever flipped it once... when I was thirteen, and my father had beat my too hard. I couldn't walk for a week.

     The bruises wouldn't fade and a crack in my ribs sent me to the emergency room a week later when I fainted in class. I said I had fallen down the stairs, but no one really believed me. I saw it in their eyes– but it's not like they would have cared anyways... so I sucked it up. If I couldn't feel better, then I'd feel nothing.

     And now, I just want to feel nothing at all.

     I don't want to feel the broken bones and unwavering bruises and the men that took what they wanted, leaving me empty and untouchable.

     Come on Maeve, do it, I try to convince myself. It's not easy. It takes effort and focus but I'll do anything to just make the pain stop.

     I'll flip every switch until I feel nothing. Because everything hurts too much.