Phan Goes Wrong

Chapter 17

  I was on my way to PJ's house and I couldn't stop thinking.

PJ was my friend and I thought I couldn't kill him... But then again, I killed Chris.
I snapped out of my thoughts and took my headphones out. I was in the mood for My Chemical Romance, so I pressed play in my already made playlist in shuffle. It was surprisingly good how all the songs that came fitted my humor at that moment. I remember them like if I was hearing them right now... "Dead!", "Blood", "I never told you what I do for a living"...
But then that mood was killed by another song... "I don't love you".

Every time the song went, "I don't love you, like I did, yesterday" I could felt my heart ache and that got me thinking..

Do I still love Phil? Do I really love him?

All this thoughts came remembering me what Phil had said before, how he made me felt. And I was starting to feel like I didn't love him. Phil killed the love that I felt for him.
A battle began in my brain trying to comprehend my own feelings but I couldn't. I was lost, and confused.

I thought about going to PJ's and got to the conclusion that I didn't wanted to go, so I didn't. But by that time I was already in Brighton, and I really needed help.
The only person I could think of was Felix.

Felix: What's up?

C-can I go to your house?..

Felix: Umm yeah, okay? Are you alright?

I thought about it for some time and answered softly, almost giving up.

no...

I was close to Felix house and I felt my heart beating fast. I felt ready but I wasn't. I decided to tell him what I did and felt.

I knocked on their door with a uncontrollable urge to cry. As Martzia opened the door, I fell in her arms crying my eyes out. I felt broken.

Martzia:  Dan..?

Felix: Come in, what happened?

I have to tell you something... I'm a monster..