Sad Septiplier One Shots

Why didn't I...?

POV Jack

I sat inside of the bathroom of Felix's house and cried like every day. I still can hear the voice of the police officer who said that he died. "I'm so sorry to say that but your friend Mark died it was suicide." That was all he said I just said goodbye and ran to my computer to book a flight to Felix at that moment I didn't cared if I had time or not I just needed someone to talk and be with.

My flight was that same day and I didn't packed anything. As I got to Felix he just had tears streaming down his face and brought me into a tight hug. He was happy to see me and said I could stay as long as I needed to be.

Well now I thought of Mark and mumbled something's into the emptiness.

You are now somewhere els, I don't know where but not on earth, not with me and why? Because I was FUCKING scared because of my FUCKING fears.

I was scared that you would hate me. I was scared that you would end our friendship. I was scared that you would be discussed. And the stupidest thing is that I know now that that wouldn't happened.

I hated the thought about you in my arms while we hugged as *friends*, I hated the feeling of that loneliness that I have without you, and I HATE that I could have saved you but I didn't because I was scared.

I'm sorry that I disappointed you that I let you down and that you are dead.

"Seán, what are you doing in side there?" I heard Felix's voice through the door say. "N-Nothing…" I answered, but I knew that he wouldn't go away. "Seán please let me in, I'm worried about you." I wanted him just to leave but then I reminded me of Mark standing in front of me his eyebrow raised and with a look in his eyes that said *Come on Jack go out there he is worried I'm fine just go.* I smiled and nodded, than he vanished and I was alone again.

"Seán I swear to good if you don't come out there in ten seconds I will break the door open." I laughed a little it was the first time I laughed since Mark died. "I'm coming out you don't need to do that." I said then my smile vanished and tears came back to my face. I walked out of the bathroom and into Felix's arms. I leaned my head against his shoulders and cried.

It was my usual routine... To cry. I just wanted him back so fucking much. "Felix sometimes I wish I was dead and he would still be alive." I mumbled against his chest. I could hear him gasp and he clutched my body even more against him. "Don't you ever say that Seán, he would be so sad and he would think the same way." I sighed and nodded I didn't want to start a fight.

I said that I was going to bed and went away. "MARK WHEREVER YOU ARE, I LOVE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH AND I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT NOW." I screamed into the empty room.

"WHY DIDN'T I JUST TOLD YOU?"

"WHY DIDN'T I HUGGED YOU ONCE MORE BEFORE I LEFT?"

"WHY DIDN'T I CALLED YOU MORE OFTEN?"

I got a razor bald from under I pillow and cut open my arms. I cried myself to sleep and never woke up. It was the best ever I couldn't feel I couldn't cry I was just there and now thoughts of Mark came to my mind. But than I heard voices and I saw a light NO they can't do that to me. I was so happy after so many weeks of crying and they just stole my happiness my peace.

Why didn't I bled out?

So this wasn't one of my strongest stories but it's 2am and I'm tiered anyways I hope you enjoyed the story and we will see each other in the next chapter of a book bye bye