My Fear (Eric Divergent Fanfic)

Chapter 18

The guilt of kissing Peter is eating me alive, I turn to face Eric who is sleeping next to me. Even in his sleep he looks mean. I put my hands on his collarbone and then trail down his chest. He groans and mumbles.

"What're you doing up?" He says in tired voice. His eyes will shut.

"Can't sleep," I move closer to him.

I put my lips to his tattooed neck and leave love marks on him. "Mmm," he moans.

I move under the covers and straddle him his hands on my ass.

"Eric?" I say to him.

"What?" He looks at me. I'm about to tell him, I'm this close to telling him.

I bite my tongue, "I want you," I say instead.

One side of his lips curl up and he moves so I'm under him, it doesn't take long before our clothes are off. I love the feel of Eric, I like how rough he is and how he slightly crushes me making me lose my breath, the butterflies that scatter in my stomach whenever he touches me. The electricity that flows inside me whenever we're intimate. I was Candor and I say what I mean no matter how Dauntless I am, I love Eric.

Sometimes I pick a fight with Eric only because I seem to be the only one who likes when he's authoritative, there's just something so attractive about it. I love how small he makes me feel like I'm prey. I also like the way he makes me feel when there's a threat toward me, or now our son. It's almost as if I'm the only person in the world he'll ever defend and the rest of the world can get his cruel shoulder.

When Eric finishes I rest my head on his bare chest as I listen to his heart beat so fast. That's my favorite thing- listening to his heart. He doesn't express his emotions it's like this is the only indication I have of him, is by feeling him and his pulse. How he shakes and breaths heavy, his heart pounding out of his chest and when it continues to pound when I touch him. Or when the hair on his arms stand up when I rub my fingers along his arms or elsewhere.

How could I be so stupid, I don't love Peter. I don't even like Peter. I only did it because I was so angry at Eric for everything he does and how much he leaves me out of, if it wasn't worse enough that I'm not actually Dauntless, I'm left out of everything going on in the faction.

•

When we woke up the next morning Eric was already suited up and ready for work as always.

I was feeling frantic because I know Peter is going to show up any minute. The guilt, killing me, I want to tell him. I'm going to tell him.

Then Peter walks through the door before giving me the chance. He looks just as nervous as I do.

"Morning Peter," I say awkwardly.

"Good morning." He turns avoiding looking at me.

Eric looks over at both of us. Maybe it's just me but it feels as if he can feel the tension growing between Peter and I.

"What's going on between you two?" Eric's eyes are beady and speculating. He's scrutinizing us.

"Nothing," Peter and I say in unison making Eric even more suspicious of us now. I have to tell him. The candor inside me is eating me alive, the voice in my brain screaming for me to confess. Peter looks at me anxious like he knows what I'm about to do.

Before I can say anything I hear Ean crying. I excuse myself from the awkward situation and run to pick Ean up shushing him. I hear the door slam, Eric left.

"I have to tell Eric," I say to Peter as he walks in the nursery.

"No. You can't. I have to."