Experimental (A Leafy x Idubbbz Fanfic)

/4\

"Calvin, please get up."

The light streaming in from the hallway contrasted violently with the dark of the room, causing Calvin to roll onto his side and pull the covers up over his head to shield his eyes.

It'd been two days since the incident and Calvin hadn't been coping well with the events that took place. When the drug wore off, he found himself mulling over everything that happened, his mind criticising his actions harshly. To put it simply, the whole thing had messed him up quite a bit. At the time he wasn't that concerned about it all, just the effects of another concoction forced down his throat, but he found himself feeling weak and almost nauseous as he analyzed how weak and pathetic it all had made him. He was manipulated by the only person he really trusted in this place; the same person trying to get him to leave his room.

He didn't reply to Oliver, the man didn't deserve his response after the shit he put him through. The sudden turn of events made him feel disgusting especially after moaning like a two cent whore in that stale white room with that other guy - Ian? He didn't want to remember but everything continued to play over and over again in his head, making him want rip his hair out.

He didn't register Oliver getting closer until he felt the sheets being pulled off of himself and a hand being placed on his forearm.

"Don't fucking touch me!" He shouted, pulling his arm out of the man's grip.

He was sitting up now, the white sheets - which where partially stained with blood from a nose bleed he had shortly after returning to his room - falling off of his body and laying near the edge of the bed with his sudden movements.

"It's been almost three days since you last ate."

"Fuck off. I'd rather starve." He avoided eye contact, not wanting to look at the man.

"Listen, I didn't want that to happen to you but-" He was cut off.

"But you let it happen! You let him fuck me! And people watched it happen!" His eyes widened in realization as he tried to hold back hot, angry tears, "You sick fuck.. You were watching, weren't you?"

Oliver didn't answer. His grip tightened on the sheets as he finally let the tears spill. "I.. I thought I could trust you."

"You can trust me.."

"No, I fucking can't. You betrayed me, Oliver. You were the only person in this place that I even talked to but then.. you did this.."

"It's my job, Calvin! There's not much I can do about it! I tried to get her to reconsider, I did, but she was dead set on seeing how you would react to it!"

"Well what about the other guy?"

"She needed two subjects so he was just a filler.." He paused. "But I swear I never meant for any of this."

"I just.." His voice cracked, "I don't want to do this anymore.."

"I know."

-

Calvin ended up leaving his room later that day in favor of the library which, lucky for him was vacant with no sounds but the television that he switched off when he entered the room. The silence was comforting but somehow he felt exposed without the dark of his room and blood stained sheets wrapped around him.

The books were outdated, so much so that he never bothered reading any of them, just feeling the texture of the pages. Books were something he'd only ever touched when it was mandatory in school. He never had much of an interest in reading, he was more of a drawing type of person. He liked to create something of his own rather than preview something someone else had already created.

The feeling of of the pages between his fingers was something that connected him to the outside world. When the sharp edges of the paper cut into his skin it immediately traced back to when it had happened in the library in his younger years - eighth grade to be exact. Back when he was the cliche victim of bullying, getting shoved into lockers, etc. Calvin laughed looking back at how much he used to despise those days and how he despised his current situation much more. He'd take anything over how things were now.

He was brought out of his thoughts when someone plopped down onto the chair next to him. Glancing over out of curiosity, his entire body tensed.

Ian.

Calvin stood up and quickly moved away from the other man, almost tripping over his own feet as he did so.

"What's wrong with you?" Ian asked, an eyebrow raised as he watched the man.

"Nothing, I.." His voice trailed off as he rested his back against a bookshelf. Calvin needed to clam down. Ian was drugged too at the time so it wasn't like it was really his fault, right? Of course Ian didn't have another guy's dick inside of him but still. He shouldn't get so worked up, it's not like there was anything he could do to change the fact.

"I um.. I'm going to get get lunch.." He lied.

"I'll go with you," Ian offered.

Calvin tensed. "No," He replied immediately, "Thanks but I'd rather be alone." He was about to leave when the man called out to him.

"Wait," He said. "What happened was pretty fucked and I'm sorry about that, but there wasn't much I could do. We were both drugged after all. I'm not some kind of rapist or whatever.."

Calvin opened his mouth to reply but quickly shut it, not wanting to think about being in that white room and his body being engulfed in what felt like flames but we're really just hands stimulating his body and sending shocks up his spine. He squeezed his eyes shut as he walked down the hall away from Ian, wanting to get away from anything and everything that reminded him of what happened.

-

He hated it.

He hated that even as he wrapped himself up in his stained sheets and tried to block out anything from that day, it all seemed to come back to him.

That feeling you get when the room is too cold and goosebumps show up on your skin and send tingles up your spine reminded him of when Ian had first placed a hand on his lower back and practically set his body on fire with the action itself mixed with the intense effect the drug had on him.

He flicked his eyes up to the top bunk. His roommate hadn't showed up in a while and Calvin was almost completely sure that the man had finally died to a random test they put him through and he wondered if he would end up like that too eventually. One day he could easily have a heart attack or a really bad seizure and just die - if it even worked like that. It almost scared him that something in the very back of his mind wished it would happen sooner rather than later.