How Not To Drive Home for Snoggletog

9: Jailbreak

The cell door clanged shut as Hiccup stared in utter shock. Somehow, his increasingly improbable quest to finally go home for Snoggletog and celebrate with his family had landed him in a jail cell in Berserk on Snoggletog Eve. And worse, he seemed to have been abandoned by everyone he was travelling with.

"You do realise you've got the wrong person don't you?" he asked the cop who had pulled the short straw in having to watch the cells while the rest of the force had gone to the bar next door.

"They all say that," the cop grouched back and sat in his chair, lacing his hands behind his head and closing his eyes.

"Well, on current experience, I would guess that it's because you keep catching the wrong people!" Hiccup snapped back. "I demand a lawyer, a judge and bail!"

"No, no and no," the cop replied snarkily.

"I have a right to an attorney," Hiccup pointed out. "And if I cannot afford one, you have to appoint one for me."

"We'll do all that after the holiday," the cope said. 

"No you won't," Hiccup snapped. "Holding me without charge over Snoggletog is a cruel and unusual punishment especially as I am innocent."

"So we'll charge you," the cop said, sitting up and glaring at Hiccup.

"Not without reading me my Miranda rights...and then you have to get me an attorney..."

"On the 27th," the cop sneered and Hiccup rolled this eyes.

"By then, I will literally be a dead man having missed Snoggletog and my Dad's 60th," he protested. 

"Then you shouldn't have blown up this trucks..."

"I DIDN'T!" Hiccup shouted.

"Then who did?"

"I didn't see," Hiccup said truthfully. Though I have a damned good idea... "Some guys were grabbing my girlfriend and I ran to get them off her and then a load of goons jumped on me and I ended up here..." The cop stared at him.

"You know the Mayor's son demanded you were locked up?" he told Hiccup, seeing the tall man grip the bars tightly. "You really hacked off the wrong person, sonny! So you're going to rot in jail until after the holidays and then we'll sort this all out..."

"This is unconstitutional!" Hiccup growled.

"Tell someone who cares!" the cop sneered and the auburn-haired man threw his arms up.

"Fine!" he snapped. "I try to go home after six years, I end up being knocked off my bike by an insane woman driver, being kept awake by the noisiest sex...ever, caught in a car fire, thrown off a train, chased out of a diner by men with guns and now wrongfully arrested in Berserk. And all I wanted was to spend the holiday with my family!"

"Better luck next year!" the cop said smugly and settled back in his chair. Hiccup stomped to the bed and sat down, his face locked in a furious scowl.

"Next year I'll lock myself in my apartment with my cat, a good book and a triple giant sized turkey and pepperoni pizza," he grumbled, then closed his eyes. Truth be told, he was disappointed that the others had left him. He had looked out for Astrid, gotten Fish away and mended the twins' truck. True, he hadn't done much for Snotlout except sabotaged his car but his cousin had so much owed him a simple breakdown hardly even scratched the surface of what he owed Hiccup. He ran his hands through his auburn hair and sighed. He had one phone call and he would have to spend it to apologise to his Mom-he couldn't talk to his Dad because he would end up hanging up during the ensuing argument. And, of course, if he ended up locked up much longer, he would probably lose his job as well.