How Not To Drive Home for Snoggletog

10: Kith and Kin

They drove for about fifteen minutes up the winding mountain road out of Berserk, ears straining for sounds of pursuit by the authorities before they slowed, seeing the green and white truck parked up ahead. The headlamps illuminating a huge pine that was partially axed through and the stocky shape standing next to it, his cap pushed back and axe slung arrogantly over his shoulder. The garbage truck sailed by and parked up beyond Barf'n'Belch, the hiss of the brakes loud in the nighttime forest. The twins were standing shouting unhelpful advice to Snotlout. Hiccup leapt down.

"Ready?" he asked. The twins offered him their hands.

"Don't leave us hanging, Harry," Tuff warned and he completed the twin high-fives. "Fish told us what you did."

"And though it isn't blowing up his trucks...which would have been awesomer...at least it means come New Year...we and the other truckers will have a future," Ruff admitted, then threw a tight hug around him. Tuff joined in.

"Thorston sandwich!" he shouted and Hiccup remained still, his eyes staring helplessly up at Astrid...but she wasn't mad. In fact, she was almost falling off her seat in the truck, helpless with laughter at his astonished face.

"You're alright, Harry," Ruff added. "And if you ever get tired of Astrid...I'm free and very willing..." She rolled his eyes at her attempt to be alluring...which just came out as unsettlingly creepy and weird.

"Thanks...but I'm good," he managed, finally struggling free. "Are the Four Sisters ready to blow?" Tuff winked and gestured to the identical four spruces all wired up with explosives.

"They'll blow sky high on your command!" he assured the lanky man, then headed back to the truck as Hiccup walked slowly towards Snotlout. This was the part he wasn't looking forward to-because Snotlout knew him better than anyone else...and was the most likely to uncover his subterfuge. But he limped up to his cousin, watching the cocky man leer at him, his nose swollen and bruising still forming underlies eyes from Astrid's punch.

"I see the jailbird is out," he sneered. "You know, I told Astrid she didn't need to waste her time on you..."

"Glad she didn't listen," Hiccup said, his emerald gaze pointedly lingering on the man's broken nose. "You ready?" Snotlout preened, flexing his muscles.

"I'm the Champion of Berk for the last six years!" he boasted. "Jorgensen Lumber's one and only Snotlout 'Champ' Jorgensen!" Hiccup nodded.

"Knock 'em out, Champ!" he said sarcastically and Snotlout expertly slammed the axe into the trunk, swiftly completing the cut.

"TIM-BERRRRRR!" he roared as the huge tree slammed down across the narrow road, blocking the way. Hiccup smiled and turned...and in that moment, Snotlout looked up, seeing the faint, small scar on the right side of his chin, just below the lip. His jaw hung slack for a moment, then his face curled in a nasty smile. "Hiccup?"

The lean, auburn-haired man stiffened and he sighed softly.

"So it is you," Snotlout sneered, coming closer, his face vaguely triumphant. "I knew there was something off about you...'Harry'..." He walked around the taller man and leered into his face. "Scared to give us your real name? Afraid we would see through you for the useless loser you really are?"

"Have you heard yourself?" Hiccup sighed. "I have a home, a job, two degrees, a classic bike..."

"You can say what you want..." Snotlout sneered. "But I see a skinny loser in a wrecked jacket with a bruised face, the cops on his tail and hiking with two other losers..."

"While I see a brainless clod who has moved precisely a hundred yards to his Daddy's company because he has no brain, skill or talent to earn anything for himself! How did Football go at College, Snot? Or did I hear you were thrown out for partying and losing your fitness...and just not being good enough?"