Mirror (AU MaiChard Fanfic)

Chapter 1

Being alive was certainly much worse than dying.

For as long as he could remember, Richard Faulkerson Jr. existed in a prison, unable to escape or be rescued. He was trapped in a small room engulfed in an eerie darkness save for the glow of light seeping in through a small crack on the wall. He didn't know why but there were no windows or doors. All that was present were mismatched furniture — like the small table where his food usually appears whenever he's hungry.

Time wore slowly, and all he could do was listen to the echoes of his own thoughts and memories that swirled through his mind. Over and over again, he replayed fragments of his memories that eventually fade. He tried to fight it. But no matter what he does, he was always ended up unsuccessful. Every. Single. Time. It was as if he was being punished to wallow in his own pain and misery. This was the worst kind of suffering that he had to endure.

It was at that moment that he pondered how he lasted this long. Is it because he had nothing to more to lose? Or is it merely his survival instinct that drove him to hold on? Either way, he had no choice but to stay.

With a heavy sigh, RJ moved around the room and then sat on the lumpy bed near a massive bookcase lined with books.

Crack!

Surprised, RJ glanced around. Where did the noise come from? Is there someone else trapped in this prison? And what was it?

Crack! Crack!

"Hello? Is anybody out there?" he breathed aloud. His voice echoed in the room and no one answered him. No one can do that anymore. His heart suddenly plunged and he felt a twinge of loss and hopelessness that he had found so familiar. He had dared to hope that maybe someone finally found him. But his hope was dashed yet again. Perhaps it was just his imagination. Clearly, being subjected to this torment is making him lose his mind.

But he had a bigger problem.

He realized a few days ago that the longer he stayed there, the more memories he loses. He could recall that he sacrificed his life to be here but he couldn't remember why he did that. It felt like he'd forgotten something very important

It was as if being alone and isolated had robbed him of his ability to remember. What if he remained here for decades? Or forever? What would happen to him? Will he be a mere shell of his former self? It was a thought he didn't want to consider.

"I don't understand any of this," he said to himself as he twisted the ring around his finger. "Why am I still alive? The others disappeared the moment they arrived. Why am I the exception?"

He squeezed his eyes shut and a single tear fell on his cheek.

Not for the first time, he wondered if this was the actual consequence of what he had done in the past and if happiness had ever been in store for him.

Can he still escape his prison? Will he ever get the chance to feel alive again?

Perhaps he will never live to find out.

***

Yawning, Maine Mendoza pushed the door open and then entered the room. She had never really thought that she'd attend a party merely a few hours after she arrived from Italy. She was planning to rest and then hopefully do some last minute Christmas shopping. Too bad her grandmother had other plans.

She wandered over to the sitting room, trying to act nonchalant. She couldn't exactly show them that she was about to drop dead of exhaustion. She didn't know why but she didn't feel comfortable around her cousins, aunts, uncles and other relatives. She'd rather be left with her own thoughts than spend time with them.

"Welcome home, my dear," her grandmother hurried to her side. She had a wide smile on her face and Maine had to stop herself from giving her a sarcastic smile. "I missed you. How have you been?"

"It's good to see you too, Lola Lyn," she quietly said as she moved further into the room. "I'm doing great. Medyo nami-miss ko lang ang Italy. I loved it there."

"Yes, I gathered. Are you planning to go back there soon?"

"Well, hindi ko pa po sure. I'm still weighing all my options. But I really want to."

Lyn nodded her head. "Well, you just got home," she smiled. "We can talk about that later. I'm assuming you don't have other plans tonight. I mean, this is the first family affair you've attended for quite some time."

She didn't respond, balling her fists in frustration. Home? Is this really home? She stared at her cousins who were chatting animatedly with each other, trying to decide if she felt something. Anything. But she didn't. She felt no onslaught of emotions. Instead, she felt like everyone in the room was a stranger to her. Perhaps it sounded absurd, but she never really had an attachment to this house. And she never will.

After all, this wasn't the first time that she felt this way. She had become rather accustomed to the questioning glances and the distaste on her relatives' faces. She was used to being ignored and dismissed as a burden. She was the so-called ordinary Mendoza who had too many faults and no talent. They used say that she was a 'cook' simply because she wasn't capable of being a chef and doing anything else. She didn't really care. She knew herself more than anyone else.

It was not until a few minutes had passed that she snapped out of her reverie. Her grandmother had already walked off and was now conversing with her Tito Juan. She knew that she should at least try to converse with her family whom she hadn't seen in years. But she couldn't find the energy to do so.

Why would she continue to waste her time making small talk with people who couldn't even spare her a second glance?

Why act as if there is nothing wrong?

Why pretend to be happy?

It didn't make sense. She closed her eyes for a moment, as if letting her thoughts sink in. Maybe if she stopped thinking about these things, she'd actually have fun. Try being the operative word.

She wandered over to the couch and sat down. One of her uncles moved to talk to her but he stiffened before looking away. She also noticed a few of her relatives eyeing her stonily. She did not dare to react.

"So, this is what hell feels like," she murmured softly. As soon as the words left her mouth, she realized how much she wanted get out and leave this life behind.

She really can't live like this any longer.