Torn

Chapter 30 (The Final Chapter)

"Ms. Knowles, it's pretty late. You should go home" one of the neonatal nurses said. I stared at my precious baby boy and slowly nodded my head. My heat ached for him. I hated seeing him hooked up to so many machines. Two weeks had passed and Elijah was slowly progressing. I had spent every minute of the day with him. There were times where the nurses from the NICU had to practically force me to leave.

"Call me if anything happens" I said as I grabbed my things and prepared to leave. The nurse gave me a reassuring smile as she walked over to me.

"You know, Elijah is a fighter. He's getting stronger every day. He's going to be fine"

"I still worry about him so much. It's my fault that he's even fighting." I said as I stared at him.

"You can't blame yourself. Some things are beyond your control."

I didn't care to divulge into any more information. I simply, smiled and left the hospital. This had been my routine over the past two weeks. A few days after Elijah was born, I had been given the green light to go home. After much begging and pleading, my parents left New York and went back home to Houston. Neither of them wanted to leave my side and I appreciated that but I couldn't live with myself knowing that they had stopped their lives to take care of me. I was fine physically but emotionally I still struggled with the decisions and choices I had made. I reached out to Shawn a few times but after he failed to answer, I gave up. I figured it was for the best.

When I arrived home, Omari had called checking to see if Elijah was okay. This had been a routine for him. He would call every day, sometimes two or three times a day just to check on his progress. He would visit frequently, but with his job it was hard for him to come to the hospital before visiting hours ended.

Omari and I had come to a mutual understanding. Elijah was our primary focus. It was easier to say before Elijah was born but now that he's here we both were just focused on him getting better. Omari agreed to pay for the medical expenses and he even went as far as to set up a nursery in my house and his. It was refreshing that we both could be cordial and respectful to one another. It was no longer about us. It was about our son.

*****

Shawn P.O.V

"Daddy why do we have to leave"? Kennedy said as she clung on to her stuffed bear. I sighed heavily and placed her on to my lap.

"It's complicated baby. I know you don't want to leave grandma and grandpa but I promise you can call them anytime you want".

"What about BB? I will miss her" Kennedy said as tears flowed down her face. This was a hard situation to explain to a three year old. I was literally packing up my entire life and moving to a different state. After what happened between Beyonce and I,

I knew I couldn't stay here any longer. I needed a new start. New York was my home but New York also held a lot of painful memories. Justine and Larry did not have clear understanding on why I was leaving but respected my decision. They were upset because Kennedy was their pride and joy. I knew it meant a lot to them that Kennedy was able to remain close to them after losing Marie.

I felt bad for ripping my daughter apart from the only people that she knows. But I knew that I couldn't continue to live in a city where I would be constantly reminded of those painful memories. I think what hurts the most is the fact that Beyonce came into my life when I thought I could never love again. I invested so much into our relationship. And in the end, I didn't just get hurt, my daughter did too.

I looked at my daughter with sorrowful eyes. I couldn't explain to her that Beyonce was a cheater. That she had betrayed my trust.

"I know you will miss her and I am so sorry" I said as I placed a kiss her forehead.