The Good, The Bad, and The Dirty - Brendon Urie

X. Thinking of You

After my run in with Brendon a week ago, I've tried my best to avoid going outside of my house all together. The only time that I would even walk outside is to wait for the bus, but unfortunately that happened to be at the same time that Brendon left his house for band practice every morning.

One day, however, as I had gone out to get the mail, the events from my previous encounter with Brendon replayed through my mind, and an overwhelming sensation of power began to course through my body. I had to talk to him again. I knew that I needed an excuse to visit him, so I quickly ran back inside and grabbed the shirt that my mom had washed for him a while back. Then, gathering every ounce of courage I had left in my frail soul, I slowly made my way over to his house. Every step I took seemed to be weighed down with endless negative possibilities.

As I stood at his doorstep for a good five minutes trying to gather the courage to knock on his door, these thoughts had ceased to stop. What if he slams the door in my face? What if he grabs the shirt and doesn't say a word to me? I managed to come up with every possible horrible scenario in my head, but before I knew it the door flung open and hit me in the head. I was sent flying backwards, but luckily Brendon grabbed me before I hit the concrete. He pulled me up and let out a chuckle.

"My bad, are you okay?" He asked.

"Yeah, sorry," I managed to say. "I guess I've been pretty clumsy lately." He smiled and raised an eyebrow as if to ask "why are you here?"

"A-anyway," I said, cursing myself in my head for stuttering. "I just wanted to give you this." I handed him the shirt, which he took and inspected.

"Your mom did a pretty good job at removing the stain." He said, still grinning. "Tell her I said thanks." He shoved the shirt under his arm and walked past me to his car, not even looking back in my direction.

"What did I do to make you hate me?" I asked without thinking. My heart started racing as my anxiety spiked. I regretted asking it immediately after I did.

Brendon stopped in his tracks and looked down at the ground, as if he was gathering the courage to say what he was about to say.

"I don't hate you," he said, still not facing me. "It just simply has to be this way." He continued to walk towards his car after making his statement, but for the first time in my life I wasn't going to let my life turn to shit again.

"Wait," I said as I ran up to him. He was now about to get into his car, but I set a hand on the car door to stop him. "Please tell me what happened." He sighed, but the fight that was in him had seemed to disappear.

"Okay," he said, finally giving in. "But I can't tell you here." He look a small notepad out of his pocket and scribbled some words onto it. "Meet me here at this time." He handed me the piece of paper that read "The Milk-Shake, December 18th, 11 a.m." I released my grip on the door as he got into the car and shoved the note into my pocket.

"Thank you," I said quietly. He concentrated on his steering wheel so that he would not have to look in my direction. His eyes seemed to have less life in them than they used to. Something inside of him was dying

"Just, don't bring anyone," he said after letting out a sigh. He then simply closed the car door, and drove away.

_________

Hey, it's been a while :). I told myself I wouldn't make author's notes as frequently as I used to, but I felt that it was necessary considering my un-planned hiatus. I can't promise that updates will be frequent, but now that I'm going back to my old self I'm realizing that writing should be a priority in my life, so I will hopefully be back for a while :)

I love you all,
Alexa <3