There's Secrets... -Anakin Skywalker x Reader-

Four

We stopped at a small place, similar to a club, because when we walked in there was booming jazz music, and it was a dimly lit place, but enough to see everything. The chairs and tables were white, and the floors and walls were black, and dark tinted windows went almost from the floor to ceiling. Anakin sat down at a table in the back of the restaurant. I followed, and sat across from him. A waitress attended to us, and we ordered. I ordered water and Anakin ordered a drink I'd never heard of called a 'Bantha Bottle' something originating from his home planet, Tatooine. I ordered my usual, Chafir.

Anakin told me his drink reminded him of home with his mom. I nodded. I knew all about his story... as well as Padmé had told me about him slaughtering the sand people. We 3 were the only ones who knew.

"I miss her." Anakin said, tears in his eyes. "I miss her. So. Much. And nobody since then has been able to replace her..." then he looked up at me. "But you, Y/N."

My heart stopped. This was what I'd been instructed to say no to my entire career of being a Jedi. I wasn't supposed to give into these feelings but they just seemed so... beautiful. The happiness, the butterflies when I saw him. How my heart ran away from me when he was near and went into his arms, begging for him to love me.

"Anakin..." I said quietly.

"I'm sorry..." he said, then a little louder. "I'm sorry Y/N it's just..." he hung his head in shame. "Since I was 12 I've loved you."

I didn't know what to say. Admit I had feelings for him... or turn him down. I decided to compromise between the two. "Anakin, I... I've loved you too." I pause, and see his eyes full of hope. "It's just... the order, and the seriousness of this mission we should focus on-"

He touched my hand with this, and his fingers entwined with mine across the table. I didn't take his hand, just let him hold mine. I wanted to grasp his hand and run away with him, but I kept my hand palm-up on the table as his fingers held it.

"Y/N, I know. But... these feelings have haunted me on all my missions. You... you make me keep going..." Anakin said.

"Keep going?" It came out a bit wrong, as if I was horrified. He looked up at me, pale.

"You... when I'm on missions and under pressure, I always think, I have to get back. If I get back I might can see Y/N..." he glowered down at the table, embarrassed. "You've kept me going through all my missions..."

"Anakin..." I said. "Anakin I... I've loved you since I met you... but... we can't do this-"

"You must not see it the way I do, then." Anakin sighed, hurt.

"I don't see a lot of things the way you do..." I said. "One of them is the Jedi Order."

"They hold me back." Anakin rose his voice, and released my hand, slamming his palms on the table.

I glanced behind me to see the entire restaurant seemed to hush, and the band seemed to play a measure lower. Maybe it was just my imagination- but then I felt a feeling I had scarcely felt, only on the battlefield. It made me want to draw my lightsaber for protection. I then turned and realized- this anger... was coming from Anakin.

"I. Am the chosen one." He muttered. "They hold me back."

"Anakin, just because you're the chosen one doesn't give you less training. It gives you a reason to need more training, to make sure your characteristics are perfectly toned. To make sure your skill is sharp. So you can learn new abilities-"

"I learn and sharpen abilities all the time." Snapped Anakin. "I'm a knight but they treat me as if I'm a padawan. They always send me on missions with Obi-Wan, and Obi-Wan still tries to be my master. He's no Qui-Gon Jinn!"