You know that place between sleep and awake; that place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where I will always love you. That's where I'll always be waiting.
~ Peter Pan
I reached for the hand that should have been on the hospital bed in front of me, but found nothing.
The room was dark, with the exception of the sun bleeding through the blinds and casting a shadow of my brother in the doorway. I could hear the sound of the heart monitors in the room next door, a sound I'd become so familiar with that it was no more than background noise now.
"Alyssa. Come on." Jason said from the doorway, my parents a few feet behind him. I stared at them for a second, wishing I could just get up, leave, and feel as if this would blow over in a couple months as they did.
"You've got to go see Dr. Goldman. He wants to see you." I shot my mom a dark look, feeling my lips trembling at the mention of my childhood pyschologist.
"I don't need a shrink." I snapped.
"Ally, he's just going to talk to you about loss and-"
"I don't want to go to a shrink! I don't need one." I pointed my finger accusingly at my parents, "You do." They shook their heads, looking desperate to keep me from causing a scene.
"Okay, then let me drive you back to your apartment." Jason offered, finally taking a step into the room, "I'm sure Josh is worried." I snorted at my brother's comment.
Joshua Duncan, my ex boyfriend who was still unfortunately living in the apartment we shared until the lease was up, didn't give a shit about me, and he never would. I just hadn't gained enough confidence back from the breakup to tell anyone except Steph.
"I want to go home." I whimpered, feeling like a helpless child as Jason approached me, "I just want to go home." He pulled me against him, his hands in my hair as I dug my nails into his back.
"Then I'll take you back home. Sienna should be there, she'll be happy to have you back." I almost starting crying again at the mention of our nanny. She had been there for the three of us for as long as I could remember, far more then our parents ever had.
"Come on." Jason pulled me to my feet, smiling encouragingly. I felt as if my legs had been set on fire. They felt as if I hadn't walked in days. I hadn't budged from the chair beside my sister's hospital bed for almost four hours hours, not even to go to the bathroom considering I hadn't had anything to drink since early this morning. We had come in to clear her room of everything, and I'd had a silent breakdown in the process, forcing me to have to take a seat.
"I've got her taken care of. You guys can go." Jason whispered as we passed our parents, supporting nearly all of my weight. I tried to help, but the rest of my body had a different idea.
"You need to eat something, Ally. You weigh as much as Aiden." He shook his head in disapproval, saddened by the fact I weighed as much as his toddler son.
I had barely eaten anything for the last two weeks. Nothing could stay down, and what did was usually water or some type of pureed food. Jason and Macy had been staying at a hotel up the street, forcing me to do what they knew I wouldn't do otherwise when they showed up unannounced every day.
"Hey, sweetie." Macy said softly when we reached the car, tucking a lock of her blonde hair behind her ear, "How are you doing?" My brother shook his head at his wife as he helped me into the car beside Aiden in his car seat.
YOU ARE READING
The Wish List
Teen Fiction"Her dying wish was for me to complete her list, and I wasn't going to stop until it was completed." When Alyssa Morrison loses her little sister to cancer, the last think she wants to think about is completing the ridiculous list she left beh...
