Breathe Again

Chapter 15

Soon after arriving at the barn, the women set about preparing a makeshift pallet bed for Sterling atop several bales of hay in the loft. Louisa informed him once again, of the decision they had reached with Ashfield to keep him under their care until he was strong enough to be on his own without worry.

To maintain propriety, they separated his bed from where Dottie and her mother slept by a wall of hay bales, allowing them to keep him close enough he would only need to call out, and they would hear him. To provide privacy to the women, they strung a rope across the gap forming the entrance to their section and hung a quilt to create a door.

Sterling tested the pallet they set up for him, surprised to discover it to be quite comfortable, especially after suffering Ashfield's short guest bed.

Following dinner, Sterling was more than happy to lay down, not even attempting to deny how tired he was. As soon as his head hit his pillow, sleep welcomed him with open arms.

Deep in the night, Elliot's cries rang through the dark interior of the barn and jolted Sterling from his restful slumber. He strained to hear the soft murmur of Dottie soothing her son back to sleep on the other side of the hay bales.

The soft rustle of fabric and scrunch of hay under foot, along with Dottie's gentle hum drifted across the divide. Sterling's mind eagerly brought forth a picture of what he imagined the scene would look like.

With closed eyes, he saw her in a white nightgown with her pretty hair flowing in waves down her back. She would be holding little dark-haired Elliot in her arms as she soothed him, changed him, and perhaps even fed him. A soft smile of love and contentment would bend her lips when she gazed down at him until at last, he was full and fast asleep once more.

Sterling's eyes grew heavy with sleep by the time he finally heard the rustling of fabric again. He imagined Dottie stood to lay the sleeping baby in his crib near her bed. No doubt, she would watch Elliot for a few more moments before seeking the refuge of sleep once more herself.

One of these days, he decided, he would have to sneak a peek and find out just how close to reality his imagination had been.

"Are you awake?" Dottie whispered loudly, poking her head out of the quilt door.

Sterling's eyes shot wide open, and he struggled onto his left elbow, searching for her through the darkness surrounding him, "Yes."

The sleep that had been mere moments away from claiming him vanished with the possibility of having her near.

"I was hoping you would say no." The soft rustling of her nightgown gave away her location, and at last, he saw her silhouette draw near.

"Wouldn't telling you no also mean I was awake?"

She sat near his hip, so he scooted over to give her more room.

"Well, yes, but you know what I mean," she gave his shoulder a gentle nudge with her fist.

He grinned and wished for more moonlight to relieve the stark blackness of night around them. It wasn't fair to have her so close and yet be unable to see her. There was a faint outline of her; a subtle difference in depth of shadows allowing him to discern her body from his surroundings, but nothing more.

Silence surrounded them before she whispered, "Do you think babies have nightmares?"

He held quiet for a few minutes and mulled the question over. "I've never really thought about it before. I imagine they could, although I've no idea what they would be of."

A thought came to mind, and he grinned. He searched for her hand in the dark where it rested on his pallet and took hold of her fingers when he found it. "I've noticed they have an addiction to breasts. Imagine what they must feel when they're taken away from their beloved sources of nourishment and not yet sated." He snickered, "The horror!"