YouTube / jalex

Coming out by rian dawson

"I was never a problem child.. I did everything my parents asked and always followed rules, always did tasks like cleaning the dishwasher and other things. My parents.. I was more of a slave to them. They didn't exactly ever love me. Especially my dad.
My dad, he worked in the military and I barely saw him. The last time I saw him was 10 years ago. The last thing he said to me was I'm dead to him. I'll get to saying why that is.
I was an accident, my parents were just fucking and my mother was against abortion. She made me do everything so she wouldn't have to. She made me make dinner, clean up, buy food for her dog sparky who hated me and walk him. Everything she didn't want to do I would do.
As I grew older hormones came into play in my life. When I was 16 there was this one boy I grew feelings for. He seemed so awesome and nice and I felt like I was nothing compared to him. He had about 2 thousand more subscribers than me. I befriended him though so that's awesome.
It was around then when I realised I like that boy and that must mean I like other boys too. So i wanted to see if I was attracted to men by watching gay porno's. It was awkward at first watching them make out but heck long story short I found out I liked guys and not girls.
So I thought it would be a good idea to talk to my mum about my feelings. Bad fucking idea. So I went up to her and said
"Mum.. I have something to say" and she said.
"Have you watered the plants.." She was trying to get me to leave her alone. I told her that I've done everything and she sighed and listened to me
"Mum I'm gay" I simply said. I was excited to tell her. Overjoyed in fact. Heck, I didn't know she was the most homophobic human ever.
Now her reaction was just staring at first then she started insulting me quoting the bible, she's not even religious. Like at all. She then told me that I was the worst accident and she... She" Rian wipes a teary eye.
"She told me she should have aborted me" I stare and shake my head. I have never wanted to hold Rian so much in my life.
"I wasn't expecting that reaction. Now.. From then on things for worse. Dad started ignoring me and pretending I didn't exist. I had even more chores and tasks to do and I wasn't aloud hang out with friends anymore since she didn't want me getting a boyfriend. Overtime she became angry. You'd think a 16 year old would have courage to stand up to his mother. Well no I didn't.
The angrier she got. The worse the punishments got. Then she began hitting me. She also tried to kill me a few times by strangling me. My dad cut me down my back once. I still have the scar.. See" Rian turns to face the camera and pulls up his shirt. There was a large slightly faded mark down his back. When he turns I notice the tears building up in his beautiful eyes.
"My friends were supportive, my parents weren't. So My parents gave up on me. They kicked me out once I finished school. I was homeless for a month before a friend let me stay with her for a few months before i could afford an apartment. So yeah.. That's the story on how I came out and it made things worse. One thing I'd say is don't be in a rush to come out, I thought my parents would be accepting of me but they really weren't. Only come out when it's safe and if you need to. You don't have to put labels on yourself. But I'm gay and wanted mum to know that. I don't regret it either. I knew who I was when I told her, I appreciated myself more than ever and i knew me. I grew up feeling useless but once I came out i felt free and happier even though things got awful at home I still had friends to help. Yeah.. Thanks for watching.. Sorry I'm sad now" Rian wipes the tears out of his eyes blinking.
"Please show your support by liking this and subscribe and watch my recent video with my good friend Jack Barakat. I love you all bye" the camera stops. I leave my house. It's 1am but I run down to his apartment. I need to hug him.
I knock on his door. He opens it rather quickly like he was still awake.
"Jack-" I don't let him finish and pull him in a hug. He hugs back confused.
"I'm so sorry.. About your parents.. You didn't deserve that. I'm so so sorry. You're so beautiful and kind and lovely. Don't ever think otherwise."
"Wow.. Thanks Jack.. That means a lot"
"Good, I'm honestly so sad about that video. I don't know I had an urge to just tell you you're amazing and hug you."
"You're so sweet. I would kiss you but that would be cheating on Alex" I kiss his cheek gently.
"I know." I say.
"Jack.. Will you stay the night.. I don't want to be alone tonight" I nod.
"Let's go to bed okay?" I say. He nods and I take off my shoes. He goes to bed and shuffled over lifting up the duvet for me. I slide under it and throw it over me. He wraps an arm around me.
"Rian, I'm free tomorrow. Are you" he nods resting his chin on my shoulder.
"Goodnight Rian. I missed you"
"Missed you too. I still do even though you're right here". He says holding me against his bare chest.
"Me too. Sleep well"
"I will since you're here." I smile and shut my eyes snuggling into Rians Warm embrace.