Shattered

Settling In

Starting over has always been the hardest, but that doesn't mean give up. My name is Michelle Johnson, I'm a 37 year old single parent who just moved to a small town in Atlanta, Georgia.

I had no clue of where my life was headed but where ever that was, I was all for it at this point in my life.

I had just settled in my apartment off the South East side of Atlanta with my 16 year old daughter Kaylin. She was upset about our move and hadn't really talked to me the entire time we were here. . You know teenagers though, it's all about missing old friends and making new ones.

Me myself, I'd managed to get a job at ConCox Park which was a center where all of the kids went for activities, counseling, etc.

My best friend Adrianna got me a job there. In fact, she was my reason for even making the leap to start over in Atlanta.

I was content with the move and whether my daughter liked it or not, we were staying.

Five months had passed, Winter was here and it was not my cup of tea. Getting colds, car problems, congested traffic, the works.

Thanksgiving had passed and Christmas was four days away. Down at the center it was busier than when we first got here, and the nights closing up the center were even longer.

After school, Kaylin would hang out at the center with her friends that she finally had met. She was even comfortable with staying the night at their houses, and so was I.

Life looked as if it was finally coming together. The kids were on Christmas break so letting Kaylin go hang out at Tierra's house was a break for me. Tierra was a girl Kaylin had met , and they became close friends.

That following night after getting home I helped Kaylin pack a few of her things. I began asking her questions about Tierra's father . I met him once but it was briefly over the phone. I know you're probably saying what mother does that? Well I did, but that was only because I trusted my surroundings , and the people around me.

Kaylin said Tierra's dad worked the graveyard shift at a factory ,and he was never there. She said Tierra's step sisters were always there to look after them .They were 23 year old twins, who watched them until their dad got home. She also insured me that everything would be fine. By the expression on my face she knew I still was a tad bit uncomfortable with that answer.

Young adults watching high school girls? Now, we as women know what that means, TROUBLE, and Lord knows I didn't need any , but I didn't want to ruin the holidays for my daughter either.

I mean, she had already been through enough, and she wanted to enjoy life. I must admit after my divorce, and then another bad relationship my child had
access to a lot. She had seen a lot, heard a lot, been through a lot, and with all that, sometimes I tend to suffocate her a lot.

Before leaving Columbia, I never let her go anywhere or do anything. All I wanted to do was protect her from deceit, lies, wether it was from a man, family, strangers, who ever.

This was a cruel world, a world that would destroy you. . that's if you let it. A jungle you know? Survival of the fittest, and if you aren't ready, you better get ready, that's what I was always taught.

If i died today or tomorrow I wanted her to be able to survive. To depend on God first and never a man. God will never disappoint you but man will. God will supply for you, and man will only talk about it and throw it back in your face.

Nobody owes you nothing. If God wakes you up in good health go work and get it. It's just as simple as that.

Lecturing her as usual, a car horn blows outside. It's Kaylin's ride, quickly running to the door she hugs me and says, "Mom relax, I'll be fine." She waves as she runs out to get into the car.

Closing the door slowly, deep inside this time felt different from any other time. We've been here five months, and out of two of those months Kaylin has been leaving ,and I've never felt like this. It was a feeling of uncertainty, a feeling of loss. It was as if i wasn't going to see her again.

Geez, I guess I was letting my motherly intuition get to me a again. I had to stop this. I had to shake this off. I've been glued to her like she was still in the womb. October of next year she will be 17 and regardless of if I want to or not, I have to let her breathe. I had to give her space, and let her be a teenager. In life we have to make mistakes to learn, and to learn you have to live.

That night, after settling in checking on Kaylin was a must, but her cell phone went straight to voice mail every time i called , which was odd, because she always answered my calls. She knew that when she didn't answer I go into panic mode. I was all over the place.

Twenty minutes, Pacing back and forth calling her phone. I even called Tierra's phone ,which rung but eventually went to voice mail. At this point I was past panic mode and was putting my clothes on to go to Tierra's house, then my cell rung,it was a private number. I hated private numbers ,but it probably was Kay so i had to answer. Answering, the voice on the other end of the phone was Tierra's sister letting me know everything was okay. That was puzzling.Why would she need to call when Kaylin has her own phone and her own mouth? Something wasn't right. . I insisted that Kaylin get on the phone.

She said that Tierra, Kaylin and her sister went to pick up her dad from work. Looking at the clock on the microwave it was only 9:30. If your dad worked the graveyard shift, he wouldn't be getting off at this time. If anything he'll be going in. I began questioning her on why Kaylin left her phone ,and then SILENCE. . the phone hung up.

I ran out to my car, because I knew something was wrong. Exactly what? I wasn't sure. All I knew was, the gut feeling I had, you know the one that makes you want to vomit. . that not so good gut feeling that says, "this isn't gonna be good" that feeling.

Driving up to to Tierra house, it was dark. No cars in the drive way, no lights on, just dead, no signs of life. No Christmas lights or anything, just dull.

After knocking on the windows and doors, still nothing. Sitting down on the front steps, I continued to call Kaylin's cell phone which still went automatically to voicemail. . This wasn't happening to me I had to be dreaming. Or was I just over exaggerating and just being over protective again?

Beating myself up in my head, a old guy walks up startling me. "You want to rent the place? "He just moved two days ago, said I could have all the stuff in there."

"What about the kids?" I asked "Kids?" he said. My heart dropped and my mind fluttered with so many worst case scenarios.

"You know that guy is pretty weird sometimes." " As far as those girls of his, those twin girls are just as crazy as he is". Laughing a little, he walks off leaving me in suspense on what in the hell was going on and where the hell my daughter ? None of this made any sense . Over, and over in my head I had wished I had not come here. Sitting down on the steps my heart sunk , and my tears flowed uncontrollably. I had to find my daughter, and I didn't know where to start.