*you know when you've been on tumblr for a long time and you go back to school, get bored, and start making crack fics in your head? That's me in math. This is from my messed up head.
Ok so John and Sherlock are working a case which require them to go undercover to find the killer.... in a strip club. If you were looking for something with legitimate plot, read one of my other ficlets or something else entirely, cause this is just pure crack fic. This is going to include.... frankly weird as all hell parts. Language and lots of rap songs. and will become ever so slightly smutty...
SIDE NOTE: I was partially inspired by tumblr and fics I have previously read.*
*John*
"Wait, what the hell do you mean, undercover ?" I asked Sherlock incredulously. He rolled his eyes.
"By that I mean we put on disguises and look for the killer. John we know he's going to be at that club tonight at 11, we need to blend in if we're going to find him!"
I huffed. Sometimes I think Sherlock loved the disguises part most, like it was a big game of dress-up for a 5 year old. I, however, despised what I was being forced to wear; baggy jeans and a white t-shirt with a peace sign on it. I looked up, glaring, which quickly turned into laughter as I looked at Sherlock; he was in black skinny jeans and a black shirt with 'SWAG' printed on it in blue. He had white ray bans over his eyes and a snapback that matched his shirt. I tried to compose myself , pressing my lips into a line. Sherlock turned and faced me, a small smirk on his face. He then slouched back, deadpanning his face.
"Sup?" he asked, jerking his head back quickly.
We both doubled over into giggles, practically crying; these disguises were ridiculous, but they would work. We both sighed and walked out to meet Greg in the sitting room. I almost started laughing again at the expression on his face when he looked at what we were wearing. Sherlock rolled his eyes when Greg pulled out his phone to take a picture. Sherlock held up the peace sign, annoyed, and Greg snapped the picture shaking with laughter. Sherlock flipped him off before turning to me. We stalked out the door, choosing to walk to the club rather than take a cab.
When we arrived the place was in full swing; the place was packed, with some weird rap music playing. Sherlock and I walked to the bar, trying not to loose each other as we weaved through the crowd. I struggled to keep a straight face, but Sherlock, being Sherlock, was pulling off his role perfectly. It amazed me to watch him act; honestly the man deserved an award for how well he pulled these off. We both walked through the crowd silently, Sherlock apparently looking for someone. "YO Shezza!!!!!!" We both turned, Sherlock grinning hugely. "G-Man! Good to see ya bro!" he shouted back, grabbing the man's hand and pulling him in for a quick hug before pulling away. The man turned to me grinning, looking me over. He was tall, his afro sticking out slightly from under his backwards black hat. He was in a dark blue button up, saggy jeans, and a pair of white sneakers. "So what's up man? Got any news for me?" Sherlock asked quietly. The man turned his attention back to him " I've had worse man, you probably remember. But I heard," he leaned in closer, dropping his voice so low i could barely hear, "That your guy is gonna be here later, likely to kill again. You better blend in brother, or you'll get yo ass caught." Sherlock nodded and stepped back, smirking again. The man nodded at us and smiled as he turned around, only to turn back with an even wider grin on his face. "Oh yeah and Shezza," he smirked at me, "Congrats dawg. Glad to see you found one that ain't half bad lookin" he winked before disappearing into the crowd. Sherlock grinned and shook his head before turning, leaving me standing there dumbfounded for a moment. I followed after him quickly. "Sherlock!" I hissed "What the bloody hell did he mean by that?! and what in god's name is Shezza?!" Sherlock smirked and pulled me to a dark corner before turning. "Shezza is... my street name." he looked at me for a moment, eyebrow raised, "And he said that because you and I are in a gay bar." he said, voice deadpan. I looked at him, eyes wide, nearly choking on air; Sherlock bloody Holmes had just drug me into a gay bar. It was like the start of a bad joke. He huffed when I didn't reply. "Look, we are working a case, trying to find a murderer, ok? Now, we have t blend in or, as he said, they will recognize me. So, blend in,": he said, his deep voice quiet and demanding. He grabbed my had and led me over to the bar, and i felt my heart nearly soar out my chest. I had been keeping my feelings for Sherlock secret for a long time now, but this was the most ridiculous way of spending time with him ever. We got more to drink, and i chugged mine back quickly before ordering another. Sherlock looked at me quizzically but didn't object to my drinking. Sherlock smirked before pulling me onto the dance floor. Apparently a rap song came on that he liked to dance to, and i struggled to pay attention to the lyrics. I was suddenly distracted by Sherlock; he had lent back some, shaking his hips, hands up over his head. He was looking down, a tiny smile on his face. He rolled his body, somehow managing to look graceful even while he danced like this. I laughed in disbelief and started trying to mirror his movements. I had a decent buzz going anyway, and so i didn't particularly care how silly either of us looked. Another song came on a moment later, which I recognized as Candy Shop. My sister had listened to it before, but apparently Sherlock heard it before too. He started dancing again, and I couldn't help but stare. He danced closer to me, body gyrating against mine. I put my hands on his hips and tried to move with him, blushing some at how close he was and what he was doing. i never expected Sherlock to be able to move exactly like this but it was amazing. He looked perfect in his jeans and pretty soon i was grinding against him, my jeans tighter. I was pretty sure he could feel my erection, but if he minded he didn't show it. He moved closer, hips grinding against me. I smirked, tightening my arms on his waist. Suddenly, and unfortunately, the song was over. Then, Sherlock's head snapped up. His eyes turned cold, and his face became blank. He moved away slightly, pulling me by the hand to the corner again. I knew something was wrong and didn't question. He nodded at a man that had just walked in; he had dark, curly red hair, a thin wiry body, and a dark look about his pale face. Sherlock touched my arm "John he's coming over here." I panicked and looked around, trying to figure out what to do when Sherlock grabbed my arm tightly. He turned me to face him before crashing our lips together, pulling me close to his tall body. I leaned into him, wrapping my arms around his waist tightly, kissing him back. It was slow, and surprisingly held a lot of passion. Our lips moved in perfect sync, and I lost every train of thought other than his lips on mine. He pulled away all too soon, looking at the spot where the man was. I took a deep breathe, happily surprised. Sherlock grabbed my hand and suddenly we were running outside, taking the back exit. I pushed past people and slammed the door open behind him. The man we saw earlier had another man against the wall, sticking a needle in his neck. Sherlock yelled and the man raised a gun; however i took mine out my jeans quickly and shot him in the shoulder. Sherlock ran over, taking the gun from his hand, while i checked on the man. He would live but needed an ambulance now. i turned to yell at Sherlock but he already had the phone out, calling an ambulance and the police.
........................................................................................................................
I leaned against the wall as Greg talked to witnesses. Sherlock caught my eye and walked over. He leaned against the wall beside me, not saying a word. Greg smirked at us before leaving. Sherlock touched my arm and we walked away, strolling through the back alley ways quietly. We didn't speak a word until we got to 221B. My heart had settled very heavily in my heart; even though we had finished the case, that was all an act. Sherlock hadn't enjoyed kissing me, defiantly didn't enjoy my attempts at dancing with him. Which made me even more surprised when he pushed me against the wall and kissed me. This one was much rougher than the one in the bar, though I didn't mind. My hands moved to tangle in his curls, his hands pinning mine above my head. He pulled away suddenly, looking at me with wide, lust filled eyes. "goodnight John." he mumbled, pulling away with a smirk as he started upstairs. I followed after a moment, slightly breathless.
*i might change this later, continue it and... add a few things, if you all want ;) thanks for reading this randomness. :) *
