without losing a piece of me, how do I get to heaven?

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OMG okay so finally finished this chapter!! I love how this turned out and hope you all do to <3 I highly suggest listening to the song 'Heaven' By Troye Sivan before reading as it's the main focus towards the end of the chapter.

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The soft sound of beeping drew Bucky out of a dreamless sleep, feeling cold for the first time in ages. So far every morning he had woken up with Steve wrapped in his arms, his short blond hair tickling his nose along with the scent of his morning breath  to greet him when he woke up. Today was different though. He felt a dull ache in his chest, the feel of the mattress hard and uncomfortable beneath him. Groaning softly he opened his eyes, immediately being met with the view of tubes and machines and... "What the hell," He murmured, gazing around the room. The hospital room. He glanced down at his arm to reveal an IV needle imbedded in the flesh and suddenly all the events from the previous day came flooding back into his memory. 

The soft click of a door opening alerted him as a man dressed in a long, white coat walked in, a friendly smile on his face. "I'm glad to see you're finally awake," The man said cheerfully, glancing down at a clipboard in his hand. "I'm Doctor Banner."

"What happened?" Bucky, croaked, wincing at how hoarse his voice sounded. The man, his doctor, sighed and sat down on a black stool, pushing himself over to the computer where he began scrolling through what Bucky assumed to be his records.

"You had a panic attack at a cafe from what we were able to figure out. Had to ask a few witnesses..."

Oh God, how many people saw that?

"You're Bucky Barnes?"

Bucky nodded, the faint sound of shouting audible from outside the hospital room. "Is...everything okay out there?"

Doctor Banner narrowed his eyes, the confused look on Bucky's face mirrored in his own. "I'll be right back." He murmured hesitantly, gently setting the clipboard down and walking out of the room.

"What do you mean i can't see him?!"

The shouting was growing louder.

"Sir, only family members are able to visit patients!"

"But he's my boyfriend!"

Bucky knew that voice.

"Sir! You can't go in there-"

Suddenly the door flew open and Bucky quickly shot up in bed, eyes growing wide as his gaze settled on a disheveled looking Steve Rogers. The man looked terrible: hair ruffled and messy, eyes bloodshot, and clothes a wrinkled mess. Upon seeing Bucky he gasped in relief, the words "Bucky," exiting his mouth in a swift exhale.

"Oh my God, you punk, what the hell are you doing?"

Steve was about to reply when Doctor Banner and two other nurses entered the room, each of them insisting he leave at once. His gaze filled with desperation as he looked towards Bucky, then towards the nurses. "Please," He pleaded, and good Lord his voice sounded worse then Bucky's.

"I want him to stay," He murmured softly, meeting Doctor Banner's gaze. He hesitated for a moment, glancing uncertainly at Steve, who by no means looked the least bit presentable, before finally nodding reluctantly, ushering the nurses out of the room and following behind them. Doctor Banner shut the door softly as he left, making room for an awkward silence. 

"Hey, Buck." 

The brunette gave a lazy salute in greeting. "So, I'm your boyfriend now?" he smirked, watching in amusement as Steve groaned.

"I had to tell them something. They weren't going to let me in."

Bucky raised his eyebrows, not having the energy to laugh. "From what i could hear, your plan B didn't go so smoothly, either."

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