Soft Serves Like Hugs Too

I'm Melting (A Crisis)

So, I have no idea why I'm typing this but I need to clear my head because my parents will go insane when I tell them. 

I have never been the spontaneous type of person but I have been recently looking at volunteering (which is quite expensive to do, might I add) and may have placed a deposit (with my own money, of course). I had been talking to them about it for a while but I didn't plan to book the trip today - and I did. I thought it would feel fantastic (it sort of does now that I am clearing my mind) but instead I feel fucking dumb for not saying "hang on, let me double check to make sure I can actually book something," because my parents thought that it would be just an information phone call. 

Don't get me wrong, I want to do this trip but I feel stupid and my parents are probably going to hate me but volunteering to help make a community's life safer is something I'm very passionate about and teaching them how to care for the environment. I will be able to make a difference to so many lives and meet so many people and have a fantastic experience - I know it'll be amazing but I still feel idiotic about it. I have no clue if I did the right thing because I know that wanting to do something doesn't make it right. And I'm only just realising that soon after, I won't have much money for uni next year...

This probably made sense to no one, but I panicked and needed to do something that made me calm down (aka, type). I'm super excited/nervous/feeling stupid because it's completely unlike me to do something spontaneous.