Fireflies In Autumn (Frikey)

Chapter 6

Man, it's weird to think I was in heaven those days at school where I merely hated it just for not having any friends; going to class and being bored most of the time, and Frank wasn't bothering me. How I looked back on those days like they were the best and wishing I had it all over again when he wasn't always on my case and making me miserable. It really is true to be careful what you wish for.

When Monday came around, the same Mondays I used to hate with a serious passion, because it meant an entire week ahead of school and unrelenting anguish by Frank for five whole days, I slowly realized that Frank was no longer messing with me anymore. Even worse, he seemed to have forgotten I even existed. Not only that, but he wasn't taking the bus to school any longer. I realized it that morning when I started towards the building and saw him get out of a car, his arm around that girl's shoulder as they made their way to the entrance. A sickness went through my stomach and chest and I rushed as fast I could to get inside and escape from it because I couldn't stand to see them together. I guess he started carpooling with her.

I knew who she was. Not by name, but having seen her a few times around the halls and such. She was a stupid cheerleader. I've seen her in her uniform some days when they were having practice or a game later that day. Not that I ever went to any. I couldn't figure out how Frank even met her when he wasn't a jock or went to any games that I knew of. But then reasoned that he might have gone and I just didn't know because I never went to any to see him there. But I was sure he never went to a game. He didn't play football and wasn't on the basketball team even when he was as good as he was. At least I don't think...

Gym class was agonizing as I saw him there, only playing games and messing with the free weights, or hanging out with his friends. I couldn't believe how much I kept wishing he would say something to me, even if it was mean, or throw things at me, or even to hit me again just to prove he'd not forgotten about me. But as things continued it was like I became the invisible boy. I was hurting all over and miserable and wishing I had a place to hide so I could sob my eyes out. Before then I became really good at hiding my glances his way so not to set him off. But I abandoned it in the hopes that he would notice. I was actually glaring at him as often as I could so he'd get mad and call me out. That's how bad it was. I never thought I could be so pathetic. Turned out those efforts were a complete waste. Nothing I did got his attention, and it was fucking killing me.

After gym, I couldn't bring myself to take a shower. I'd not broken into much of a sweat anyway, but even if I'd been soaked and smelled awful, I wouldn't have taken a shower. I couldn't abide the thought of letting him see me without clothes on even after all the other times. Not that he ever tried, really, but I still couldn't shake the discomfort. I ended up changing in one of the bathroom stalls and made my way to my next class. I knew it'd be lunch before I saw him again, not really sure what to expect. I guess I just hoped he would have come around by then. Even the rare days he didn't say or do anything to me during PE, he would eventually come around at lunch and do what he could to make me feel like shit. Only now he made me feel like shit not doing anything.

When lunch time came around, I decided to eat in the cafeteria and read like I usually do. Since I didn't have anyone to sit with and talk to while I ate, it didn't leave me much to look at or do. So I usually got through it with a book or a comic till my next class.

That day, even with the book in my hand, I didn't read at all. I barely even ate. I saw Frank in the cafeteria, sitting around his friends, laughing and eating and goofing around. Even worse, he was sitting next to that girl, and talking to her every little bit and smiling. I could picture myself sitting there, gawking at him pathetically, with this pleading look that he notice me. Maybe he felt me watching him. He must have because he suddenly looked over in my direction. I stopped breathing and moving when we made eye-contact. It was the first time he'd noticed me all day. His look wasn't angry or threatening. I couldn't figure out what sort of look he was giving, but it lingered on for a few moments before he finally dropped it went back to talking and smiling at his friends. Then he put his arm around her.