He Ain't Me [ Completed ]

Soukoku :: Double Black

⚠ The first half of this chapter is triggering. ⚠

Two weeks later

It seemed like the world had stopped working in my eyes. I was a mess and empty bottles of alcohol slept upon my bedroom floor. My hair was a mess and I wore a tank with some sweats. Tears were stained on my cheeks and I didn't have the strength to do anything. I was broke. I looked up from the corner in which I sat to watch the sun start to rise. How is everything, Akutagawa? Why can't you get out of my head and leave me alone. I give up.... I surrender. I couldn't bare to let any more tears escape but I failed repeatably every time. I laid down and curled into a small ball wrapping my arms around my small body to let myself rot away once more. The floor was damp from how hard I cried in silence. I was aware my family here at the mafia were worried for me. Some tried to check on me but I kept the place locked up to prevent them from helping me. I don't need it. I don't need anyone any more.
Time flew by and I opened another bottle of alcohol only to rush to the bathroom, throwing up from how unhealthy I was becoming. Depression was winning. I was close to ending it all. I thought about it many of times. That knife of mine in my neck would probably satisfy that dark part of me. I wiped my mouth with a rag and laid upon the bathroom floor with a groan. My complexion was getting paler each day only making my condition worse. I'm going to die like this. I closed my eyes for a bit then opened them, struggling to get on my knees. I crawled from the bathroom and reached up to pull the knife from its sheath. I leaned back on my knees and put the blade against my neck. Tears streamed down my face like a waterfall and it seemed my arms locked in place. I couldn't move the knife at all. I took quick breaths and ended up dropping it on the floor, it's sharp blade digging into the wood. I need to think of something else. I crawled around some more, weakly, until I found a rope. My shaky fingers were able to tie a very crappy noose. This will have to do. I looked around to see where I could put it then tried to stand up. When I made it on my feet, I reached up and tied the one end to a bar that was above the closet door. There. My legs were starting to hurt from standing but I tried my best to stay up long enough. I pushed a stool over and climbed onto it slowly then put the noose around my neck, tightening it some. I exhaled a hard breath and stepped off the stool.

The world had went black as life was starting to fade from me.....
All was coming to an end now. The pain. The heartache. My suffering.

Osamu Dazai POV

I was told about Chuuya and how distant he's been from the world. He must of been very torn about Akutagawa using him. I made plans to go see him even though the members at Port Mafia told me he wasn't letting anyone in. I showed up the mafia base and strolled up the my old partner's bedroom door. I gave a knock but heard no answer. He's in there right? I ended up growing impatient then decided to kick the door in. My gaze noticed the mess in his room and my facial expression grew very strict with worry once I spotted the small ginger male hanging lifelessly from a rope. I quickly rushed over and picked up his knife, slicing the rope before grabbing him. I went to my knees and carefully cut the noose off his neck. I checked his pulse on his wrist getting nothing only to move to his neck. It was very faint and he wasn't breathing. "Chuuya Baka!!!" I shouted at him noticing water drop onto his pale cheek. I was crying? It was really happening though. Tears flooded my eyes and I leaned down holding his nose closed before taking a deep breath. My lips met his and I exhaled the air into his mouth trying to get him to wake up. My fingers kept going to check his pulse each time I breathed into his mouth. Is it working? Chuuya please don't leave me like this. It was supposed to me, not you. I was the idiot who'd want to commit... You're smarter than this. I felt his body move some and I moved my lips from his to look down at him. The color seemed to be returning to his features. He groaned softly and gasped deeply, taking in air. I saw his blue eyes open and I froze with shock. I had saved him in time. Chuuya's gaze went to me and I laid a hand on the side of his face. "Don't ever do that again. Please." My voice cracked and I closed my eyes letting more tears fall. I laid my head onto his chest and cried into his small form. I felt his touch in my hair and I seemed to instantly melt into it. Chuuya....