Crestfallen ↬ Carl Grimes (old version)

L A Y E R S

CHAPTER NINE : LAYERS

❝There must be those among whom we can sit down and weep and still be counted as warriors.❞

❝The fragile, broken, beautiful girl in front of me had to speak and listen to my reasoning. I needed to see her delicate lips form into that mesmerizing smile again. I needed my Milah back.❞

➳

Carl

People say that too much silence drives people to do crazy, unthinkable things. And I believe that theory. I blame my actions on silence, but that doesn't mean I don't feel anything when I do them. My arms had done the action of hugging the girl without thinking twice, tucking her small frame underneath my chin and into my chest. I didn't care about how dirty her hair was, or how tensed and coiled she held herself. All I cared about was the look on her face when I walked in. It was the silence that enveloped the house combined with the look of pure hopelessness on Milah's face that made my arms wrap around her without a second thought.

When I looked at her face, everything was different. Her eyes weren't the eyes that I've grown accustomed to. The usual hazy brown canvas was now completely faded and lost as her pale hands gripped the tops of her arms, her knuckles white as she did so. She was lost, either in her own thoughts or emotions, I could not tell. But I couldn't have just let her slip away into that dark abyss that she was losing herself to. So instead, I tried to pull her pieces back together.

She didn't fight me, but she didn't exactly relax either. I could tell that my actions were somewhat working, for instead of gripping onto her own arms, her trembling hands gripped onto my shirt instead. My hat tilted downwards automatically as I softly placed the corner of my chin onto the top of her head, humming softly and closing my eyes. This girl was lost, and I had to find some way to get her back to reality, back to me.

I could feel Milah slowly start to relax from underneath my chin, her trembling ceasing only in the slightest as a sigh escapes her lips. She presses her cheek against my chest and wraps her arms around my torso, making a small smile appear on my face as I place my own hands on her hips in a comforting manor. I could feel how skinny she was through her sweater, the sharp bones of her hips pressing against the palms of my hands nearly making me gasp. How starved could she possibly be? The clothes she usually wears only exposes only the little things, but right now, with our bodies pressed against each other, I could feel each and every sharp bone in her body. I hadn't expected this. I hadn't expected the girl in front of me to be this far gone, with malnutrition plaguing every part of her body, sinking her skin and causing it to fade into an ashy color. How could I have not noticed this before?

Anger fueled every part of my body as my hands tightened their grip. How could something like this happen? What kind of hell does this world need to turn into where such a delicate girl turns into a broken, fragile, monster. In what world would Milah be okay and normal? Instead she sits here in my arms broken and trembling, and I wanted nothing else but to put her pieces back together one by one.

So with my heart on my sleeve, I take Milah's shoulders with my hands, and push her back so that I could a good look at her face, our noses only a few inches apart as my eyes roamed her pale, sunken face. Her faded lips were trembling as much as her hands were, eyes seeming to vibrate as we stared at eachother. I wanted to assure her that everything was fine, that nothing was wrong in the world and that she could be happy and not have to be broken like this anymore. But what kind of human would I be to give her false hope like that? Besides, she's smart enough to know that I'd be lying straight through my teeth if I even mumbled the words "Everything is going to be okay."