Crestfallen ↬ Carl Grimes (old version)

C R A Z E D

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO; CRAZED

"She was lost in his clear, blue eyes which reminded her of the ocean.
She was suffocating, but at the same time, she somehow felt more alive than ever.
and so,
she let herself drown."

"I guess, even in this new world, I can consider myself luckier than most, for I had one of the best people by my side to help me make it through."

➳

TO SAY THAT OUR ENTIRE PLAN OF STAYING ALIVE WAS GOING TO SHIT WOULD BE A MAJOR UNDERSTATEMENT. Never have I ever admitted to feeling this dejected and useless, simply standing by and watching as the people around me slowly begin to dwindle down into hollow bodies set on one mission; driving forward, and waiting for whatever came towards us. It was saddening, really, to observe the hope slowly seep away from their eyes as they watch the world drift past them as one blurry one picture of colors mixing together. If it weren't for the fact that I had a child in my arms, I probably would've ended up yanking my hair out at the suspense of it all.

Things had gone down the drain and at an alarming rate, even faster than Terminus had gone south, and that was saying something.

First, let me just say, if I could've, I would have wrapped my hands around the dark flesh of Gabriel's neck and strangled him before he could let the word 'god' slip from those filthy lips of his way sooner. If it weren't for his unnecessary way of ruining everything, I truly believe that we would've found a better way of going about things instead of driving all the way to Atlanta just to find out that Maggie's sister, Beth, was too far gone to be saved. It was because of his stupidity and recklessness that got us trapped inside of the chapel due to a horde of walkers and nearly killing us in the process of escaping into the large red firetruck, driven by none other than the toned red-head and his 'crusade'.

That was only an extremely vague summary of what had happened what feels like ages ago, for we now have been on the road for over three weeks now, and it was slowly beginning to get to my head. A slow, growing kind of crazy that was different than any other kind of haze I've ever felt inside my brain. Irritation was the best word to describe it.

So here we were, seated against the trunk of a dirty white van as we waited for any news from the people who had gathered up whatever motivation was left inside of them and went out on a patrol for food or any sign of what lies ahead of us. We had obviously learned from previous mistakes, and this was simply just a small break in order to regain all of our senses again. For there was no such thing as going blindly anymore. We were forever stuck working as one tightly knit system until the very end. And, from what I could tell, most of us were just stuck hoping that we weren't closing in on that very likely end looming upon us. We had already lost Bob, and then Tyreese to a neighborhood we had attempted to clear out, two of the people closest to Sasha, giving us all the more reason to slow lose ourselves to the oblivion of life without hope.

But that's just how the world worked, right?

At least, that's the way it works now.

Either worry or work until you die.

"Get out of that head of yours and eat something, kid," A frowning Carol was careful to approach me, something barely enough to half-heartedly drag me out of my own thoughts as I glance up at her outstretched hand. A granola bar. "After you eat this I want you to change into something a little less...bloody. You're always watching Judith while we're raiding, so I thought it would be nice to give you something fresh."