So I've been in the hospital for like three months and it sucks. Once I started the chemo the doctors realized it was a lot worse than they thought. They tried to act positive but I hear them talking to my mom saying,"it's only a matter of months now" I haven't been home since then. My friends stopped coming to visit. Except Carrie she still comes almost everyday. I'm so lucky to have her.
Honestly I miss my old life. Besides school it's nice not having to go. But I can't bear seeing all of theses pictures of my soccer team knowing I can't be there. Cancer fucking sucks it's like watching everything keep going forward with there life but it seems like you're just going backwards. Some days I feel like I'm going insane and I'm so lonely.
*Present day*
"Hey Lex the doctors and I have been talking and they just got an opening to grant someone's wish.....they picked you." Said my mom.
Oh great now I'm positive I'm dying. They pick the people with the least time left to grant there wishes. I remember before when I used to write letters to Santa and bring them to Macy's for make a wish. Every letter would donate a dollar to them. I wrote at least 400 last year. And my school donated like 25,000. I was so proud and now to think that money is helping me. I just.. I never imagined it would be me. And I act fine around everyone but really I'm terrified of dying I'm not ready.
"Mom are you serious?"
"Yes all you have to do is decide what you want then we can plan it for you"
"Omg I can't believe this is happening right now. But are you sure I deserve it over all the kids here?"
"Yes Alex don't do this you have gone through so much and make a wish is also granting 3 more kids wishes from the hospital"
"Oh well that's great."
"So do you have any ideas on what you want?"
"Well I mean....kinda..."
"Just tell me"
"I mean it probably won't happen"
"Alex just tell me!"
"Ok fine iwannameetshawnmendes"
"What was that sweetie?"
"I said I wanna meet Shawn Mendes"
"Oh"
"See I told you it's just to hard and it's not gonna happen and I don't even know why I said it it's just I thought ya know like maybe but ya it's just really du-"
"Alex stop that's not what I meant it's just he's on tour right now but why should that stop us right? I'll talk to the doctors and let you know. Ok?"
"Really? Are you serious? Mom you mean Shawn? OMG mom no"
Then I casually freaked out because this has only been my dream since I was 14 years old. And this is the first time I've had a glimpse of hope since I found out I had cancer. I can't believe it took me almost dying to have a chance at meeting my idol.
So dudes I hope u enjoy. I finally got Shawn into it.(kinda) and to the like 3 people that actually read this I promise it's not gonna be as predictable as it seems at the moment😂 I was told by a friend that I was predictable and needed to update more so I'll try really hard😂
~Erin💖
