you keep robbing my heart like a bank ~camren~

10.

When Lauren wakes up, she's cocooned in her blanket she doesn't remember falling asleep under. The pillows are tucked under and around her head and there's light barely filtering through the gaps in the curtains. She turns over to see the clock reading 9:23 and takes a moment before she recalls that Camila skipped the party to watch a movie with her.

Lauren remembers how Camila had gently massaged her until Lauren had fallen into a peaceful sleep. Glancing over at the empty space next to her, Lauren frowns.

Once they had finished the movie, she was going to ask Camila if she wanted to stay over, but she fell asleep before that could happen. And based on the empty room, it looks as if Camila has already left. Even if she did stay the night here, she clearly went home before Lauren woke up, because her clothes are missing from the desk chair.

She can't help but feel disappointed because she had been working on building up more confidence to initiate things with Camila. They could have used today, even if it was only part of the day, to get to know each other better and give Lauren more opportunities to open up to Camila.

Now it looks like those plans have fallen through, and Lauren is left wishing she had worked up the nerve earlier in the evening to invite Camila to stay.

Rising up out of bed, Lauren pads over to her bathroom and starts the shower as she drowns in self regret for not being more confident. Maybe she can ask Ally if the girl can come over earlier so that Lauren doesn't have to sit with her own negative thoughts all by herself.

~~

Lauren tucks the corner of the towel into itself as she steps out of the bathroom and glances around. She can't see the clothes that Camila borrowed and it leaves her wondering if the girl wanted to leave so quickly that she didn't even bother changing.

In the back recesses of her mind, there's a voice telling Lauren that she's being irrational by assuming that Camila wanted to get away from her as soon as possible. The girl has not only been consistent in showing genuine attention to Lauren, but also making an effort to have all their friends get to know each other. She shot Brad and Austin down when they tried to apologize solely because of how Lauren felt about them, she communicates constantly with her, and she stuck up for Lauren (even when she really shouldn't have). But Lauren has this irritating, disheartening, self-confidence problem that makes her doubt even the most obvious things and leaves her feeling discouraged. Sometimes it makes her so angry, because she just wishes it would go away. She wants to feel self-assured, she doesn't want to have these nagging feelings that someone is always judging her.

Lauren just wants to be fucking normal.

She doesn't realize that she's worked herself into a frenzy until wetness slides down her cheeks onto the carpeted floor. Swiping the back of her hand across her face, Lauren bitterly wipes at the tears, willing them and all her other feelings to stop. She turns towards her dresser, opening one of the drawers to dig through for some clean clothes to wear.

"Lauren, I heard you were up so I—"

She squeaks and practically leaps away from the dresser, desperately clutching at her towel as it almost unravels from the motion. Camila is frozen in the doorway, two plates and glasses balanced on a tray as she stares at Lauren with wide eyes for a split second before hurriedly spinning around to face the other way.

"I'm so sorry! The shower had been off for a while so I assumed you were finished and dressed. I didn't mean to..." Camila rambles out quickly, still standing rigid with her back to Lauren.

Camila didn't actually see anything, because while Lauren is in a small towel with nothing underneath, she caught the fabric before it bared anything to the girl. The reaction Lauren received is a little odd though, because Camila is the same girl who has made a few — for lack of a better term — fuckgirl comments to her in the past. Yet here she is acting like she's never seen an underdressed girl in her life. Lauren feels a little elated that the girl clearly respects her enough to turn away quickly.