From The Place I Hate, Came My Love

I Hate the Ocean

 I hate the ocean.

 Violently.

 Nothing good can or ever will come out of it. Only death.

 Okay. Maybe that's a bit of overkill. But I think I'm aloud to act a little childish, not like it matters. I'm going to die anyways.

 Just a couple seconds ago, all I saw was a car suddenly move from their side of the road to mine, almost nailing my car head on. Now I wish they had. Instead, they clipped the left side of it, pushing me and my car off the bridge we were all driving on straight into the, you guessed it, the ocean.

 Everything is going so slow. Is this the life that flashes before your eyes before you die? How unsettling. I can feel myself not completely sitting on the seat as the car falls, my fists are clenched to the steering wheel with a white knuckle grip, I can see my phone flying into the back from it's place in the cup holder, and the bluish green of the water is only getting closer.

 But here I am, what will most likely be the end of my life, and I have to ask myself, did I do enough? Will I be remembered? Am I worth remembering? Me, Mark Fishbach, medical engineer, inventor of many medical advances, a charitable individual to many different charities, and overall...a seemingly forgettable human being. I couldn't do enough. I didn't have the time. Or maybe I didn't use it right.

 My picture at work will eventually be taken down. My advances will become improved upon by someone else, while other ones will simply be scrapped. The charities won't notice that I'm gone, or probably won't be too bothered when they hear. No one but perhaps family and friends will remember me...I hope.

 Everything still feels so slow still. Painfully slow. Looking death, literally, in the face and not being able to do anything about it but accept it, is horrible. Maybe if I just close my eyes it'll all go faster.

 Shit. Not good. Everything was fast, sure. The crash of the car hitting the water was fast. The whiplash was fast. My head hitting the steering wheel so hard that it rendered my body limp was pretty fast too. Everything feels numb, but I can feel the hot trickle of blood fall down my temple. I hear the creaking and groaning of my car as it quickly sinks, water filling in around my ankles.

 There won't be much of a wait for me though, as what was left of my windshield shatters over me, letting all the water pour down over my head. I'm not even fully submerged and I can't breathe. I thought that if I hit my head in a situation like this I would be knocked out and wouldn't feel anything. Lucky me! I'm awake enough to feel this! Fuck me!

 By the way the water is now filling up to my waist, I'm guessing the car is pretty far down. I doubt I'll make it to the bottom of the ocean though, as my lungs are already on fire. Asphyxiation is what's gonna get me faster. I can't feel my body as my brain shuts down, my thoughts getting slower, my struggle ending.

 It's funny, I remember when me and my brother would play in the back creek in the woods behind our- Oh God. My brother...I was so concerned with myself...I didn't even think of...who I was leaving.... Oh whats it matter now...I'm sorry.

 Everything...feels cold. The...typical darkness...closing in...around me.... It's...all so...distant. I... I'm scared.

 Darkness.

 Scared.

 Light.

 Scared.

 Pulled...?

 Darkness.

 Pulled.

 Light...but...not.... 

 The...sun? What the hell?

 It's slow...but I start to feel again. My brain flipping on lights again, like an old system that hasn't been turned on in ages. But my eyes are open, and the sun and a very blue sky are looking back down at me. How the hell? What is going on?

 Slowly, the numbness of my body comes back. I can move my fingers and toes, so those still work. That's good at least. But I can't hear anything around me, no people, no cars, no nothing. Just the ocean.

 It takes a long while, but I finally lift my arms. I hold my hands above my face at first, inspecting all my fingers, making sure I still had all ten of them. My hands are nicked and scratched to hell, but they still seem to work. Slowly, I move to push myself up on my elbows to look a little more at where exactly I am. And...it gets...even more confusing...okay then.

 In front of me, behind me, to- well just in every direction, is the same ugly bluish green of the damn ocean I just can't seem to get away from. The only thing holding me above it is a rock. Literally, a large hunk of rock protruding from the ocean is all I'm on. But how did I even get here? I don't see the bridge, the car, much of anything really. Did my body float here or something? It couldn't have. I'm so far pulled up on this rock I had to be...placed here.

 But the only sign of civilization is some LA skyscrapers faint outlines in the distance. How the hell did I get out here?

 The more I feel my body coming back to life, the colder I feel, even with the warm sun shining down on me. I'm still soaked from head to toe...toe.... Where the hell are my shoes and socks? Why am I barefoot? Could the car crash have...literally taken my socks and shoes clean off? That's impos- What was that noise?! You cannot tell me I didn't just hear that noise. I heard it, you son of a bitch.

 It was a distinct sound of a splash right behind me.... Okay now I realize how stupid I sound. I'm literally surrounded by ocean and I'm questioning why I heard a splash. I think with the near death experience I just had, I'm aloud...some leeway for my mental state.

 But I still can't even begin to figure it out? How did I get here? And...how am I gonna get back?