Dear Angelica

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Dear Angelica,

I have no idea what to do. Dad's basically banned from coming home, Mom's p*zzed and Peggy's out to get Dad. I don't know what to do! It's a mad-house! Do you have any advice for me to help little Angelica and the others from being scarred for life? Mr. Jefferson invited us over for tea, but Mom thinks he's hitting on her, but seriously? Who would hit on someone by asking to see if they're okay and if they want to come over for tea? Mom's paranoid I swear! I seriously need your help. Theodosia won't talk to me anymore, I'm kind of scared to talk to Peggy who's walking around with a torch and is screaming Dad's name, Mom's obsessed with fire with Peggy too. There really isn't anyone else for me to look to for help. Please save me before someone gets brutally murdered (as in Dad)!

Your Desperate Nephew, Philip  

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