A Guy Like Her

Ironing Is A Lot Like Sex, You Start Roughly And End Gently

Chapter Ten
-Ironing Is A Lot Like Sex, You Start Roughly And End Gently-

I woke up the next morning snuggled up against something soft, warm and smelling ridiculously good and familiar. I felt warm steady breathing on my ear and my eyes popped open with sudden panic. My head was pounding and my world was spinning. I couldn't remember the ending of last night, I just remember Caitlyn plying me with liquor and dancing with reckless abandon. I couldn't bring myself to reopen my eyes again after the headache had kicked in but I knew I was in Jakes room. Oh god, what have I done?
I was rigid as the body behind me was snuggling up. It was a single bed after all so there was hardly enough room for one person let alone two...

...Unless those two didn't have anything but skin between them, because they got drunk and frivolous...

"Oh god," I groaned as the rooms door flung open.
"You finally awake sleeping beauty?" Jake asked with a devilish grin, holding a coffee in his right hand and a plastic bag in his left.
"Wha?" I groaned at him again, this time confused. If the hot stud muffin of a roommate of mine was standing in front of me. Who the hell was breathing in my ear?
"Mmm... there better be Gatorade and red bull in that bag, J," Taylor groaned, moving against me to sit up in the bed.

Taylor.
Taylor Cadley.

"Taylor?" I screeched, nearly falling out of bed to get up and away from him.
"Yeah babe, chuck us the red bull Jake has," He told me, looking like I feel. My mind was spinning.
"Why were we in the same bed?!" I squeaked, mortified.
"Calm down, You still have clothes on don't you?" He told me simply, once again gesturing me to throw him red bull. I hadn't even thought of that when my mind was acting by itself to get me as far away from Taylor as I could. I looked down at myself and was slightly disgusted but pleasantly surprised when I was still wearing my clothes from last night. I looked back at Taylor and he was getting out of bed, he was shirtless but still completely dressed from the waist down.

Oh thank Oprah.

"Why were we in bed together?" I asked, taking Taylors red bull popping it open and taking a sip of it.
"Aye," He scolded me, snatching the can from me. "You were drunk. Kathy had demanded you not go back to your room 'cause she had 'some lovin' to give to Lockie'," He air quoted with his fingers. "Jake and I walked you back and Jake offered you his room but you demanded I stay too," He told me, his eyes however were telling me something different. There was a different story about last night and I knew I wasn't going to find out until we were alone.
"Did we...?" I trailed off and Taylor choked on his drink.
"Hell no!" He looked at me, highly alarmed.
"Thank god," I sighed and he nodded his agreement. "I need liquid and a shower," I told them both and grabbed my bag and shoes and headed out the door with a wave.

"What the hell happened last night?" I demanded, bursting through the door to find Kathy nursing a coffee on her bed.
"You went home with Jake," She grinned at me like the devil she is. "Why don't you tell me, Lucy"
"I ended up in bed with Taylor Cadley, that's what I woke up to and all i can remember after entering the second club."
"WHAT?!" She demanded, but her face wasn't a 'ready-to-hear-the-scandal' face. It was defensive and shocked.
"Not like that, purely passing out," I told her. "And anyway! You're my girlfriend!" I told her with my hands on my hips, "No meeting boys!" I scolded her and she glared at me, sarcastically.
"So... you don't remember last night?" She asked slowly, the evil devil grin returning.
"Not a moment," I replied, feeling uneasy.
"You didn't do anything wild... but," She paused for a moment, savouring my pain, I'm sure. "There was petting... and sexy dancing..."
"Sexy... dancing...?" I asked slowly.
"Caitlyn started it with you and then you pulled Jake onto the dance floor, Let's just say Jake couldn't hide much after you finished with him," She winked at me.
"Oh god," I groaned. "I'm such a skank!" I cried out in despair.
"Well!" She sounded hopeful, "He really didn't seem to mind!" She grinned encouragingly. "Maybe tonight is still hopeful," She told me and I looked up at her.
"What's tonight?" I asked, confused.
"Dinner," she told me simply and the confusion didn't lift. "...with Jake?" she added.
"Oh sweet Jesus," I gasped, remembering. "I can't go out to dinner with him tonight!" I exclaimed.
"But why?" Kathy asked, "You guys didn't do anything. It should be okay," She told me.
"How do we know?" I asked, "You weren't with me the whole night and neither was I! I could have done anything before I passed out!" I had resorted to pacing the room. It was working against the swaying of my head and stomach, neutralising the hangover. The door burst open and Taylor presented himself.
"Oh my god, you're the worst drunk ever! You broke like two rules, used one in avertedly and I had to save you from another one! That's four. In one night!" He exclaimed, throwing his arms up, "Worst guy-chick ever!"
"Uh, I can't remember last night at all," I told him. "What rules did I break?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest. He eyed Kathy for a moment sizing her up and then shrugged to himself.
"One, Rule thirty eight, unless you are 'wacky', 'inflatable' or a 'flailing arm, tube man', never dance with your hands above your head," He told me, with a serious frown. "Two, rule forty eight, if a hot girl shall happen to pass by while you are in an arm's reach of your buddy, you must, and will, tap him on the shoulder to make him aware of the babe."
"Okay one," I lifted my index finger at him, "Fair enough. But Two," I raised another finger, "I wasn't a guy last night. I was a girl, so I will not be held responsible for living up to the rules."
"Not true. Just because you have a skirt on doesn't mean you can't be a wingman," He told me, creasing his brow into a frown. "Rule thirty seven, Girls may be wing men, due to the hidden knowledge they hold on how to untangle the confusing, mysterious mind of the female," He told me and I rolled my eyes.
"What rule did I use by accident?" I asked.
"Rule fourteen, Its always unacceptable to refuse a women's request to dance. You got Jake right where you wanted him and he would have dragged you off to the toilets by your hair Tarzan style as soon as you said the word, which led me to using rule two – If flies, floats or fornicates, its better off rented."
"What does that mean?" Kathy looked at him confused.
"Planes, boats or easy woman aren't worth having permanently. You know, like, why buy the cow when you can have the milk for free?" He asked and Kathy's mouth made a small 'o' as she nodded slowly.
"Makes sense to me. You should thank him Lucy," She told me and Taylor nodded smugly, lying back on my bed making himself comfortable.
"For what? Spooning me? How did we end up in Jakes bed together anyway?" I asked and Taylor shrugged.
"He went to the toilet, you and I were sitting on Jakes bed, you passed out so I went to sleep with you to stop any awkward decision between Jake and I. Which led to you having the best time in bed you can have with your clothes on, with me and you didn't wake up next to Jake wondering 'what on earth did I do last night?'" He clenched his fists and shook them under his chin whilst pretending to be me in distress... If I were an American southern belle. "Which led to us breaking rule thirty nine this morning when we woke up. Guys never engage in cuddling, Unless they're going to or have just been laid."
"Why do I have an American accent?" I asked and he shrugged.
"It just worked out that way. Is Lockie making an appearance today?" He asked and I shook my head.
"I'm so hung over and apparently I have a date with Jake tonight... So I need all the Lucy time I can get," I told him and he nodded.
"Jake did mention that. Good luck and remember ironing is a lot like sex, you start of roughly but should end gently." He winked at me as he headed for the door. "That's rule thirty three." Just before he left he spun around and looked at Kathy. "You're not really an alcoholic and have a son named Marshall right?" He asked and she shook her head with a naughty smirk.
"It's just the way I get guys I don't like away from me," She told him and he nodded with a naughty smirk of his own.
"Good to know. Later," He said as he slipped out the door and Kathy and I were left in peace again.
"I like these rules," She told me, "Some make a lot of sense."
"Well you can follow him for the coming week listening to him sprout them off."
"I would follow him anywhere," She told me in a seductive voice. "Have you seen his butt? Brad Pitt ain't got nothing on Taylor. Mmm. Mmm. Mmmmmm," She murmured hungrily.
"Gross," I frowned at her. "I'm going to have a shower," I told her and she nodded, grabbing one of her thick text books.
As I washed my hangover away, my mind tried to replay last night's event. I really wouldn't mind remembering the dancing if Kathy's version of events was anything to go by. I barely remembered Caitlyn pulling me onto the floor and the more I thought about it, the more that came back to me. The music was ridiculously loud and the lights were going crazy. I remembered looking around and my eyes landing on Jake talking to another girl. Caitlyns friend, Jane, which would explain the dragging Jake to dancefloor. She was way to pretty to be near my crush.

Then came the dancing...

We started off facing each other and his mouth was in an amused smirk as he watched me, doing that little shuffle guys try to pass off as dancing. This must have been the time that I broke Taylors rule about dancing with my hands below my shoulders. I took his hand and pulled him to me, turning on my heel just as he got to me. I put his hand on my hip and his other hand followed suit soon after. It wasn't full on dirty grinding, but it was enough contact that I got a reaction from Jake's lower body to show he was enjoying it, whether he meant to or not.
I groaned into my hands as I hung my head in shame. How was I meant to be a respectable, potential girlfriend for this boy on a dinner date when I had dry humped him, drunk in the club the night before?

Kill. Me.