So What? You're still a girl!

Safehouse

Raine's POV

I open the sturdy, wooden, door to my house, jumping across the threshold before the screen door can hit my ankles.

Pausing inside the foyer to remove my muddy shoes and socks, I can hear a bubbling sound somewhere in the house.

When relatives visit for holidays and parties, they see a cabin house when looking at the exterior. They're always super surprised to walk in and see it's a modern Tudor style house. I'm just surprised my mothers home early, and the house smells like hamburgers.

"Raine? Is that you?" My mother calls out. I can hear her I just can't see her.

"Yeah Mama it's me. Where are you?"

"I'm in the kitchen cooking macaroni and cheese. But we'll also be having some hamburger meat with it." Macaroni'n cheese? With...hamburger meat?

"Sounds awesome. What's the occasion?"

"Oh nothing. I just thought it's been forever since we've had it, and I know how much your father loves it."

"Alright..."

"So, Raine, your aunt told me about what happened to you today. With Alice and that rude boy. Do you want to talk about it? I'll understand if you don't honey."

"I'd rather not. It's the same stuff as always Mama. Someone doesn't like me, and they get physical with me to make themselves more self confident about beating up someone weaker than them. That's as interesting of a story as it'll get unfortunately." If I don't focus on it too much then I can't let it bother me.

"Well alright...if you change your mind and decide you want to talk about it, just let me know honey." She turns back around to finish marinating the hamburger meat.

"I'm going to bring my stuff up to my room Mama. I'll be back down soon."

When I don't hear a reply, I venture up to my room quickly, trying to keep the hinted promise with my mother true.

As the heavy weight of my backpack falls from my hand to the corner of my bedroom, It feels like there's a rip in my blouse. Not one I got now, but a noticeable emptiness I've had since this morning. I look in the mirror to confirm a rip about two inches in length down the back right side of my pink blouse. I must have gotten it when she attacked me.

I stand carefully, almost posing in front of the full body mirror.

Knowing nothing about me you could tell I'm a normal student with the same average goals in life as most other high school students; get good grades, make some more friends, maybe get a summer job, and eventually go to a great college. But you could also tell from my posture, and manner of look, that people don't treat me like I'm normal. This mainly applies to students at my school, but even some teachers make me feel unwanted.

There's a difference between how a person feels on the outside and how they feel on the inside. I feel 'human' like a 'normal person', but when I tell most people about what I am and be truthful with them, they're first reaction is to compare me to an animal. I suppose it would make sense...they've been going by the schools science definition...for plants, worms, leeches and other hermaphrodite creatures.

To people at my school, a hermaphrodite is a person or animal having both male and female sex organs or sexual characteristics, either abnormally or as the natural condition. And since the school in located in the kind of neighborhood it is, there's only one word that they focus on; abnormal.

But people never give me a chance to explain the human definition, my personal definition.

I'm a hermaphrodite. That means I was born with both male and female sexual organs. While the more friendly term is actually intersex, most teachers and students at my school avoid using it for their own reasons. But when it comes down to it, I know I'm the same as them. I'm human.

I wish I wasn't thought of as something horrible and disgusting. I don't feel that way, but I can sense that that's how most people think of me from the treatment I get from the high schoolers.

It's so hard to be proud of something when everyone hates you for it. I feel like if people would just try to get to know me for me, they'd see past all the biased rumors and see who I am as a person.

But that's all just a dream for now.

I wrap up my intrusive thoughts, and change out of the blouse, before throwing it in the laundry pile. But how should I repair the tear? I'll just ask Mama to help me with me fix it.

Speaking of which! I'm supposed to be downstairs already! I spent way too much time wallowing in my own self pity...

The floorboards bend uneasily beneath my feet, as I dance around the room changing out of pants and into shorts, more comfortable during the summer.

Stumbling on the last step of the stairs, my mother turns around wildly trying to decide whether I'm falling down the stairs, or simply running down.

"Hi Mama sorry I took so long."

"Don't worry Raine. I'm glad you took time to change into something more comfortable for yourself." After placing a lid on the pot, she removes her glasses to clean them and exhale, "So Honey, what did you do today?"

"Without Nate and Alice...it was decent. I had a little bit of fun in geometry review, and I got to hang out with Courtney and Luna during lunch without any incidents. And that was pretty much it..."

"Really? Was there anything else that was positive or eventful?"

"Not really Mama." 

"Ok Honey...Do you want to talk about Alice and the other boy now?"

"Well, if you really want to hear about the awesome day at school I had...you should know it's the same old fairytale without a happy ending."