Watch Your Sixx

44. Fuck Up

Nikki

So I did something really fucking stupid.

I knew something was up and I chose to ignore it because I didn't want to believe it, after all ignorance is bliss. I knew that I say Tori going through withdrawal but I ignored it because she told me that she was off blow. But then it came out, her and Jess both admitted to still using and in that second all my fears came true.

I've already almost lost Tori once and I don't want to go through that again, I want Tori to be around forever so I want her off blow. I never really thought about how hard it would be for her, Tori is surrounded by drugs all the time. I didn't give it much thought until we fought about it and Tori straight up told me.

We're all drug addicts and we can't expect Tori to get clean if that's what she's around all the time. I guess that makes me a hypocrite for arguing with her about it.

I realized all of this about five minutes after Tori drove off and I've been trying to get ahold of her since last night. Tori has been dodging my calls all last night and this morning, I think I left seven messages on her answering machine. I even went over to her house this morning, both cars were in the driveway but she didn't answer the door.

I really fucked up this time.

That's the only thought that bounces around my head as I walk into the studio where we're rehearsing. As soon as I open the door Tommy looks up from his drum kit and starts laughing.

"You fucked up!" The drummer laughs.

"What are you talking about?" I ask but he keeps laughing. "So you've officially lost your mind, I see."

"Can't lose what you didn't have to start with." Tommy comments. "And what I'm talking about is Tori."

"What did she call you?" I ask a little annoyed that he now knows about my relationship problems.

"No, I saw her this morning at my mum's." He admits.

Well that would explain why Tori wasn't at her house this morning, she was at her mom's house! At least I know that she didn't just ignore the doorbell for twenty minutes straight.

"What was she doing at your mom's?" I wonder curiously.

"The same thing Jess and I were doing, eating breakfast." Tommy explains and I nod. "Jess brought up the fact that you and her were supposed to do stuff today and then Tori started talking about your fight."

"Oh great." I mutter. "How mad is she?"

"I don't know, I mean she's Tori. She doesn't show a lot of feeling." He explains and scratches his neck.

"Am I wrong for getting mad about the drug thing? Aren't you worried about your baby sister? You should be, she almost fucking died!" I rant.

I know that Tommy's weakness is his younger sisters and I also know that talking about Tori like that is playing with fire. I know it will just piss him off but I think that's the only way to get Tommy on my side about all of this.

"I am worried about her!" Tommy snaps. "But I can't tell her shit!"

"Why not?" I demand.

"Because she's right!" He admits loudly. "We're all on drugs, Nik. We can't tell her to stop because it's hypocritical."

"You know what that word means?" I ask and he groans. "Where is Tori now? I've gotta talk to her."

"With Jess." Tommy answers.

"Last time we left the two of them unattended they bought sports cars." Vince speaks up for the first time since I got here.

"No, they actually have a plan for today." Tommy admits. "One of our dad's friends has German Shepherd puppies and they were going to go play with them then go hang around the mall."

"So Nikki got replaced by Jess." Mick laughs and I roll my eyes. "So Tori is going to go a the mall?" He asks with a laugh and Tommy shrugs.

"That's what they told me but 'hanging around the mall' is probably code for buying knives or shooting guns or something that Tori and Jess would be interested in." He laughs.

I've gotta figure out a way to fix this.

Tori

"Are you going to call him?" Jess asks as she drives around.

We can't think of anything better to do so we've just been driving around in Jess' Vette. We've been doing this for the better part of the afternoon because we don't really want to go to the mall, that was just what we told Tommy to make it seem like we had plans. We knew that Tommy would gossip to Nikki and I needed it to look like I wasn't going to be moping around my house all sad and heartbroken because of the fight that Nikki and I had,

"I don't know yet." I admit and look out the window.

"He's just looking out for you, T." She tells me and I roll my eyes. "I'm not saying that he's right or anything. I'm just saying that he cares about you a lot and he doesn't want anything to happen to you."

"I know, I know." I mumble.

"Then what's the big deal?" Jess asks. "He loves you and you love him, Nikki is only worried because he loves you."

"I'm still mad at him!" I argue and she laughs.

"You're so petty, Tori!" My twins laughs.

With that my twin sister turns her car around--across four lanes of traffic--and starts to go the other way. Jess laughs the whole time....people say I'm crazy.

"What the hell are you doing?" I demand and she laughs.

"I'm taking you home so you can call Nikki. You're going to fix this." She tells me. "And don't you dare argue me because I will end you." Jess warns and I roll my eyes.

"Whatever you say, dude." I mutter.