Life's Essence

Epilogue

Weekends are my favorite because Dallon is home. I feel much more at ease when I can see him, or at least know he's in an area close to me. Despite how weak and vulnerable I am right now, I'm still so protective of him. I don't think that will ever go away.

The rest of my side effects from that place, however, I'm very hopeful they will go away very soon.

"Hey Bren!" He called out from out bedroom, I had been sitting on the couch. The TV was on, but I wasn't watching.

"Yeah?" I answered.

"Come here a second, please." I stood from the couch and stretched my arms above my head before shuffling into the bedroom. I was exhausted, last night I actually got a couple hours of sleep before a night terror interrupted.

Dallon was sitting on our bed with his back facing me. He had yet to put a shirt on this morning, and all of his scars were in plain view, filling me up with guilt, just like every time I saw those scars.

"What did you need, babe?" I asked as I walked around to face him. He had some sort of book in his lap.

"I found your old song journal. Do you still remember how to play anything?" I sat down next to him and gingerly grabbed the journal, the familiar feeling of the worn leather, thick-gauged pages, and the smell of ink and paper sending a wave of nostalgia through me.

"I don't know, I haven't really tried to play since we got back. Haven't had much interest. I might remember a little, but it's been three years or so since I last played..." I said distractedly as I flipped through the pages, old words and memories starting to re-surface.

Some good, some bad, but that fact that they were all from before the giant shit show that was those two years of my life made them precious. I felt Dallon get off the bed, but for once I didn't pay much attention to where he was going, I was too distracted by my songs from the past. I had forgotten almost all of these...

I was shaken by my thoughts by Dallon sitting back on the bed, my old guitar case in hand.

He opened it and I couldn't help but have a small smile at the sight of my old acoustic. There were so many good memories attached to that thing.

I first met Dallon while busking at a park for some extra money, on our second date I took him on a picnic and brought the guitar to play some songs for him, I played him a song I wrote just for him right before I proposed...all with that old, beat up acoustic.

Dallon pulled the guitar and the tuner out of the case before setting the case off to the side. After he tuned the guitar, he took my journal out of my lap and replaced it with the guitar. I held the guitar, enjoying the feeling of the smooth wood under my thumb and the rough strings under my fingers.

I experimentally plucked and few strings with my other hand when Dallon handed me a pick.

"Go on Bren, just play something. Anything, even if it's just a few chords." I nodded my head before focusing back on the guitar. The only song coming to mind was the one I had played for Dallon when I proposed.

We were getting married in six months and it had been on my mind a lot lately. I slowly and hesitantly began to play it. I didn't sing along at first, but I didn't need to. Just simply playing for once took all distractions out of my mind, any thoughts of that place were non-existent as I played.

Not even making love to Dallon had been able to do that, I was always too worried about hurting him, or I'd get distracted by the feelings of his scars underneath my fingertips and lips as they would travel all over his skin.

"When the world gets too heavy, put it on my back..."

As I did start to sing along though, the feeling of happiness only increased. All I could think of now was Dallon, how much I loved him, how kind he is, how attractive he is, how lucky I am to have him...everything about him was consuming my thoughts.

But I didn't mind, not one bit. I faintly registered Dallon sitting beside me, crying with a smile on his face. In that moment, I knew things would get better someday.

Things maybe aren't so ok now, but they will be. I will get married to Dallon, I'll be able to spend extended periods of time out in public again, I can get a job again, hell we may even adopt one day.

In that moment, for the first time in three fucking years, I felt peace among the chaos.

A/N- And they lived happily ever after, the end!! Thank you guys so much for reading this book! I will not have the next book up for a week or so, give me some more time to get stuff planned out and written, BUT I will do one-shots! I have no requests right now so feel free to ask, because for at least a week maybe a bit more that will be the only thing being updated!

The next book will be Joshler and it's called Abditory, but that's all I'm going to share about it for now, keep on a lookout for it!