Insane | Hariana

Two

Chapter 2: Trust me? Maybe.

Ariana
I eat lunch in the nurses office with Jane. I'm also a helping nurse that does monthly check-ups on the patients or if they had any injury, Jane keeps their record and writes new information.

I was simply eating a chocolate muffin while writing on my journal about the new patient. I have to keep some information about them since Miss Celine says it'll help a lot. So, I was currently writing about Harry.

"So, how are you and Harry? Is he really troubling?" Jane asks. She was in her 70's but living strong. Probably most trusted person here, she's worked in this asylum for like 25 years. She's retiring next year I've heard. She knows a lot if secrets in this 'home sweet home'

"He's..different." I sigh. "Everyone's different dear, be specific." She multitasks as she writes down some records while talking to me.

"What I mean is, Harry is not like..the others here. He seems- perfectly fine. Except I do know he has a story behind that pretty face of his, I just- ugh, I don't know. He intimidates me. I've thought about it for a while..." I pause.

"And..?"

"And.. And he intimidates me so much. He's annoying, narcissistic, and thinks he's all that. As if he's the king of this hectic jungle. Not to mention what happened when he entered the lunch room. Literally all eyes were on him and he smirks and I swear, that smirk so the most irritating smirk you'll ever see."

"Hun, may I ask if you don't mind? Why do you feel this way towards him?"

"Why? I don't know myself. He just- seems like a big jerk! Which..he is. He's murdered, he's a perv, he stares at me too much, he annoys the hell out of me and ugh why? Why do I feel this way Jane?"

"You're mind says a lot but your paper doesn't." She chuckles looking at my journal. "Anyways, dear you cant just splat out names of him when you haven't even got to know the person yet. People have other sides they don't show cause they have feelings and reasons why. They may seem as stupid reasoning excuses to you and others but by them, maybe just saying they need to use the bathroom is the most helpful thing to do, not just to wee or woo but maybe it's a place where they let out all their emotions. Not all are comfortable in this messed up world, and literally who is? Fear of pain and desires for pleasure is real. We just don't know what's going on anymore I guess. You see, we tend to get distracted by our own feelings instead." She explains. "Going back to Fear and Desire, what I overall mean by that and all of this is get to know their story. What's their fear? What caused this or that? What desired or motivate them to do this for their pleasure? If not for pleasure then who's pleasure?" She puts her hand on my shoulder and sighs. "Be patient with him."

She's right.

"Thank you, Jane."

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I walk out the nurses office and into the cafeteria, I found Harry sitting alone with a cigarette in-between his two masculine fingers.

"Harry." I sit next to him and the people eye me, knowing that this isn't common for a worker like me to sit next to someone who is apparently known as 'crazy'.

"May I ask you something? Don't take it personal. I just want to help."

"Stop treating me as if I'm some crazy maniac who's suicidal to deal with their own problems. You and I know that I'm not like the rest." He rolls his eyes.

"I-I know. I just want to know-" he cuts me off.

"Why I murdered my family? My best friend? Dog?" He chuckles. "You wouldn't understand. Just leave me alone." No Harry, I won't.

"I don't trust you." I simply say.

Harry

"Then why even bother to ask? If you don't trust me, why ask me about my life in the first place. After all, if I tell you a good deed I did you probably wouldn't even think it's true cause all anyone thinks of me is as a murder maniac. If I tell you I did something illegal, yah you might have believed me because of the label you decided to label me as." She blinks. "Which is.. A murderer."

She stares blankly at me and frowns.
"Well..you did murder those people."

"You wouldn't understand." Freaking bull-crap. "You won't believe me."

"How would you know? So your labeling me as someone who misunderstands people and gives no trust? Harry I have to earn your trus--"

"Hmm yah. You are that person, well that's the person you're showing me. And yah how can you earn my trust if all you'll think about me is stupid and has no idea of what he's doing?"

"Exactly Harry. That's the person I'm seeing right now, a murderer. A jerk, some heartless dude but if I get to know you better maybe my perspective on you will change."

"You know what, forget it. This isn't even about how we act, or our perspective on things. You should treat people with respect always and that shouldn't change just cause someone did something bad. Just cause they did something bad to someone else or to you, that doesn't mean they don't have feelings. Even if they show no emotion of act heartless. Some people have reasons. Stuff can be going on kay?"

"That's not really a reason for them to be rude back. They shouldn't even be rude in the first place. That's hypocritical Harry. What if the person was going through a rough day as well and all you give them was a 'shut up'. That's simply just incorrect."

He stays quiet letting a puff of smoke out his mouth.

I sigh and look at his green mesmerizing eyes. "Harry."

"I'm glad you told me this, I really am. Thanks for showing me this side of you. I may not understand your situation fully right now, but I'm here for you okay?"

I put my hand on his shoulder. "I want to see the light in you Harry. I want to see who you really are."

"Well than you're going to have to try harder than that."

"What will it take me Harry? Tell me." I frown. He just laughs and looks at me in the eyes. "Fine. You wanna know why I murdered those innocent people and the innocent dog? We need to make a deal." He smirks.

"Which is..?" I felt uncertain about this.

"Everyday you come here with me and we play...." He gets out some cards. "Some cards. This way, we get to know each other better. You're the one who said it, I think it's better if we, get to know the other person better. I'm still unsure about this, don't force me or it won't turn out good. Don't go too fast."

"Deal." I strongly agreed with what was going to happen. Hopefully it all turns out good.

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