Expiration || M.C

2 || Regret

Spencer

I wake up feeling empty. I'm laying on the couch, and it had gotten dark. I look at the clock. 4 am.

I roll my eyes and put my head back on the pillow. I stare at the ceiling for a while and try to get back to sleep. Which I can't. I grab my phone from the coffee table and see I've got a text from Luke.

7.48 pm: Lukeee :) - Hey, you coming with me to see Michael tomorrow?

I bite my lip. I haven't visited Michael. Ever. Luke asks me every time but I decline. I can't see him like this, knowing I could've done something.

4.36 am: Spencer - Sorry, I can't. Volleyball practice.

A lie, of course. I haven't played volleyball in weeks. I realize I also haven't seen Luke in weeks. I saw him at school a few times after it happened, but at a certain moment he stopped going. Which is unlikely for Luke.

I saw him at the grocery store recently, where I avoided him. He looked tired. The bags under his eyes were dark and purple. He hadn't done his hair either, which is nothing for Luke Hemmings.

No matter how late he was for something, he always did his hair. It suits him though, messy. I felt bad for him but I just couldn't talk to him. What could I say?

I close my eyes and throw my phone on the other couch. I'm so tired, I'm glad I've had some sleep, it's more than I've had in weeks.

I stand up and walk upstairs towards my room. Before I open the door, I look up at the stairs to the attic. It's the attic where Michael and I used to spend all our time. We sprayed graffiti on the walls, decorated it, stole couches that were left on the streets and hung up a lot of pictures. I hesitate. But then I turn on the light switch and go upstairs.

It looks exactly how I left it. After it happened I wanted to tear everything to pieces, which I luckily didn't. Seeing this made me smile. It smells like him. I look over at the picture frames.

There's about eleven of me and Michael, and also a few with Luke in it. I walk over to them and pick one up. It was on the last day of sophomore year, us standing in the sun, me on Luke's back and Michael holding Luke's face and smiling.

I feel a lump in my throat and put it down. I sit down on the couch we put in the middle of the room and look at the graffiti we made on the wall.

It was a drawing of me and Michael. He was doing a peace sign and I was dancing, he made his hair green (since that's the color he has always wanted to dye it) and I colored the background red. I was never that good at drawing. Michael had a lot of talents.

I close my eyes and lie down. All of a sudden, tears start rolling down my cheeks. I rub my eyes. I just feel so guilty. Guilty about not saving him, listening to him, asking him, helping him, never visiting him. I have never even visited my best friend. He needs me. I open my eyes and grab my phone.

4.50 am: Spencer - It got cancelled, I'm going with you. Be here at one?

-

I'm sitting on the couch and shaking my leg. Luke is gonna be here any second. We're gonna see Michael. I'm gonna see Michael for the first time in a month.

I take a deep breath, and then the doorbell rings. I quickly stand up and open the door. "Luke." I haven't seen Luke in ages. He looks tall. And blonde. I've missed him.

I give him a tight hug. "I've missed you." he says, putting his head on my shoulder. I smile. I let go and take a step back to look at him.

He still looks tired. Purple bags under his eyes, a bit of a beard, his hair is messy, but it does look like he did something to it. I run my hands through his hair.

"I like this." I say. He smiles and shrugs shyly. "Yeah, got a bit bored of the quiff, you know?" he shrugs. I nod. "Okay, let's go." I say and I close the door.

-

When we get out of the car I look up at the hospital. My heart starts beating really quickly. I'm scared. Scared that Michael knew. "You okay?" Luke asks me, taking my hand. I nod. "Yeah." we start walking towards the entrance.

Luke signs us in as I'm looking around. It's big, and white. I haven't been in a hospital in a long time. It smells like soap. "Okay, let's go up." Luke says to me as we start walking to the elevator. He presses the button for floor 3. I turn around to look in the mirror.

When I see myself, my eyes widen. I haven't looked in the mirror for a week. My short, curly hair is all over the place, my eyes look crazy and red and I have leftover mascara under my eyes. Luke catches me staring. He stands next to me and looks at himself in the mirror.

"We don't look so good, do we?" he laughs and shakes is head. I smile lightly. "We look like..." I start.

"We look like our best friend is in a coma." Luke says, smiling sadly.