Clouds

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The air was damp and humid, there was silence, all you could hear was the sound of cat's breathing and the peaceful but running water, that was muffled in the background of the clearing. It was dark, but if you looked closely at the right places, a strike of light glowed in the distance. Moonlight it was, strong and light pathed. The stars shone bright, the scent of warmth and safety brought peace and joy for dreams all around.

"But Momma" A little kit wailed innocently, slightly unconscious "I don't know what I wanna be". He had slept badly and was woken from his troubled sleep. He was drained and weak by the loss of sleep time he needed badly. His mother wasn't any better "Everything will work just fine Love. Now, please, go back to sleep Dear." The damp blurred she-cat mewed, her voice weakened but demanding.

The kit barely heard her as he was already deep into, once again, troubled dreams, that sent him twitching and trembling around his nest, making his soft fur a mess. The kit had a distressed expression while his face frowned, his eyes forcefully shut.

His mother looked at her son, frightened, this wasn't a normal behavior or a known behavior at all. It had been nights she hadn't gotten any sleep. Light Feather stretched her legs, guessing that night wouldn't be any different. She looked at the strings of light that came through the water at the entry of her home. She could see some blurred shapes of stars. Then she whispered in a begging tone. "Tribe of Endless Hunting....please" she breathed and looked at the bright blurred shapes outside "Help me..."

--

"Fox That Trots In The Meadow! What a surprise!" One of the To-Be's growled roughly to the to-be tom who walked into the clearing of the cave with nothing to bring in his jaws. "Harsh Luck?" Another one yowled while the others laughed, spreading cruel grins over their faces. Fox felt an icy sharp tang cutting through his flesh, even though he wasn't in any physical pain, it damaged his feelings.

Feeling blue and defenseless, the tom just turned around as though he hadn't heard the hateful comments the rest of the to-bes made about him after he left. Fox could have a hard outside, but inside he was just as sensible.

"Don't listen to them, Fox..." A smaller but strong looking she-cat brushed her fur against Fox's.

"You don't Understand, Stream, what is like..." Fox growled. The laid back but temperamental she-cat seemed surprised. "Is there something wrong with me? Something I don't know about? Am I....cursed?" Fox mewed, he had an anguished expression of someone who had been told they would never see the sun rise again. Anyone could scent the fear coming from him, his heart was thundering in his chest, his throat as dry as the warmest of days. He was hopeless.

The air was smoothly blowing outside sending sharp winds into the cold and humid cave where the animal flesh was stocked in a pile in the middle of the clearing. The cruel To-be's were chatting around while some walked in and out of the cave. Stone-Teller was in his den, hidden from every cat as always. The cave was bright with sunlight that brought joy and happiness all around.

Stream had her jaws open with teeth showing, she was about to mention something rather encouraging when a soft voice filled Fox's ears. He lifted his ears but his eyes didn't dare to move. His body stood still as he openly stared at the ground.

Then Fox recognized the voice, so soothing as a serene breeze whispering secrets into the sailing leaf going down the calm river. His beating heart eased, his expression was calm, now he felt secure. A strike of hope began to form through his chest like a horse gaining speed. "Come here, Dear, please..." It said.

--

Light Feather That Is Carried By The Wind stood in the middle of the noisy clearing. She was loosing sight, her pelt was ruffled by the wind easily. The clear pelted she-cat gulped air with difficulty, having a hard time breathing in and out, every gasp of air was a struggle. The rather young she-cat became weak after moons of nursing Fox That Trots In The Meadow. Now and then the Cave Guards would offer help, or when she urged to go and hunt prey some cat would always accompany her. She seemed mysterious, like someone who barred dark thoughts alone, like she held an enormous weight on her back, the one she wouldn't, she couldn't share it with anyone. Although she tried to be cheerful, you could clearly see that the she-cat had lost many moons of sleep. Her pelt was never smooth or neat, she had dedicated her whole life to her son. No one ever saw the beautiful young agitated Light Father again.

"Yes, mother?" Fox excused Stream That Flows Through The Forest and walked to his mother, head low. Every step felt heavy, like rocks clinging into his paws. Each step fed his nervousness, now the secureness his mother's voice brought was gone. All he could feel was loneliness burning in his chest, anxiousness as a rage in his throat. What would happen? Would he stay forever like this? Was he...the only one?

He suddenly stopped, his heavy paws felt light once again. Relief came like waves through his body. He looked around, turning his blue gaze to the cats around him. Some were chatting with friends, others walking in with their heads high, their gaze in the animal flesh they carried. The tribe cats were happy, they had normal lives like any other, why can't his life be like those lives? Was he somehow different, chosen? Chosen to be cursed...chosen to live alone, chosen to live in pain, sorrow, in...guilt. Guilt for making his mother's life miserable, even if she won't admit it, guilt for being a problem in all cat's lives, it seemed. Guilt for being so crestfallen himself. For not trying to make his life as joyful as it should, for giving up, for just simply accepting his fate. But was it fate? Or just an excuse that made life less painful?

Suddenly his mother's voice appeared again, like a ghost who swore never to come back. "I heard what you said, darling, never repeat that again. You hear me, love?". Her eyes searched for his answer, hungry for a response, expecting shiny blue eyes who said through its gaze 'You are right'.

Tears began forming in his eyes as he looked into his mother's gaze like she could read his soul. He was beginning to get anxious, his heart was once again accelerating in his chest. His throat hardened, every gulp of air was made with an enormous effort as he turned his body rapidly, his back faced to his mother who did nothing to stop him. She looked at her son with indignation as if a big disrespect was made to her. As if he wasn't thankful for every sunrise and sunset his mother spent taking care f him. Fox's mind was swirling, he didn't care anymore. He didn't want to know about mercy, how he was gifted with the Trie of Endless Hunting's power. He wasn't strong enough, he didn't want to wake up every morning knowing about his fate. Knowing how cursed he was. It was like he could see the cloud of negativity forming around him. The little cat didn't even take a last glance at his mother when the thought came to his mind. His paws began to move, taking him away from his lust, his friend, his mother, from his home. He was running away from everything he ever knew. From his curse, now he could be free. Or at least he thought so...

Guessing his thoughts he heard his mother's voice one last time, that now sounded stiff and insecure. It mewed smoothly "If that is what you wish, my son"

---

He was far away by now, padding through the newly fallen snow. The air was still, like time had stopped. He knew he wasn't supposed to be there, his body was screaming for help telling him he won't survive. Running away was against all his instincts. Fox was like a blue flower around yellow ones, his red pelt was screaming for attention compared by the glowing white of the snow. He suddenly felt a smooth touch in his nose. Snowflakes, snowflakes everywhere. Clouding his vision. He was all alone, walking blind across the misty, pale, and rare environment. Fox that Trots in the Meadow looked up, his eyes were beginning to burst in tears, flooding his vision. But he stayed calm, staring at the unknown sky.

Clouds, all he could see was clouds. Big white fluffs, like a rabbit tail, dancing in the sky. They matched the white painted floor of a cold substance. Clouds don't have to feel pain, Clouds don't have to think about themselves, a Cloud doesn't even have worries. The rather small To-be thought, now smiling, tears falling down his cheeks. A big grin spread across his face while he kept staring upon the pale sky. Snowflakes were falling around him, the cold weather was turning his tears into ice. He laid down on the ground but didn't dare to move his gaze off the beautiful shapes in the sky. He felt the cold but smooth and sweet snow touch his back fur. He stayed there for days, just thinking, just wondering, what if...

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