Saturday night again, and the only date you've got is with Tumblr. You've accepted that this was going to be another boring weekend, but then...
From: Tom
WHy are worrrms cosidered cowaRDS?
To: Tom
Tom, are you drunk?
From: Tom
CAUse theyre sppineless.
From: Tom
SPINELESSS. Getit?
You laugh and shake your head. Everyone acts different when the've got a couple drinks in them, but puns?
To: Tom
You're drunk.
From: Tom
Maaaybe a little. Jus a bit.
To: Tom
How many have you had?
From: Tom
iDunno, some.
Hey, iss a bOok on voyurism a peeeping tomE?
From: Tom
PEEEPIng. TOme.
From: Tom
Lik ea BOok.
You snort. These are terrible.
To: Tom
Yes, I get it. Please tell me you have a way home.
From: Tom
I do. Do meafavour. DONt be an ARcheologist. THeir careers LIe inn RUIns.
To: Tom
Oh my gods.
You laugh, picturing him giggling into his mobile while he types these. They aren't even that good, yet you're cackling away... I mean, ruins?
From: Tom
RUINNNS!
To: Tom
Yes, ruins. I got it.
You roll your eyes, even though you're the only one who can see. "He's trashed..."
From: Tom
BeaVErs re selllfish. THEy DONt givve a DAM.
To: Tom
I think you've had enough.
Several bad puns later, the texts cease. He must have found his way home and passed out or something. About one in the afternoon the next day, he calls you up. "I've just looked back at my texts," he says. "I am so sorry you had to endure all of that."
You giggle. "It's all right. It was entertaining. How are you this morning? You sound out of it."
"Terrible. I think it's safe to say I overdid it," he replies.
You smile into your mobile. "Hey, Tom, why is it bad to gossip around peppers?"
"Oh, God, please no..."
"They get jalapeño business!" you finish, and then burst out laughing.
"You're terrible." He stifles a laugh, trying to be cross with you.
"Revenge!" you cry out. "I have loads of these. Bit of advice; don't make a gymnast angry. They flip out."
"What have I done..."
"Have you ever watched a documentary on optical surgery? It's quite eye opening."
Tom groans. "Okay, I said I was sorry, cut it out, these are atrocious."
"Oh, I would gladly cut it out," you reply between fits of laughter at his expense, "but alas, I have no scissors...."
YOU ARE READING
Got Your Number
FanfictionIf your favourite actor gave out his number on social media, would you be able to take the chance and try it out? (A Tom Hiddleston x Reader fanfiction.)
