Kiss or Kill H.S

13. Disparity

"As long as I am next to him, I am ready to endure it all."

PRESENT DAY

LANA's POV

Perfect.

Everything had gone just flawless, like I expected. I hung up the phone, knowing that the flowers were already placed in the house and the pictures were awaiting her. After lots of promised favors and a little blackmail, I convinced Louis to be my lapdog for a day. He had successfully picked up the spare key to the apartment from the office and arrived unnoticed, to the flat. By my calculations, Kate would be arriving in ten minutes and Harry shortly after.

"What are you planning, Lana?" My sister asked suspiciously.

"What? A girl can't smile anymore? Is it a crime now?"

"I just hope you know what you're doing."

"Claire, don't lecture me. I'm older." I rolled my eyes.

Perhaps it was the devilish smile I had or the fact that she has known me my whole life. She definitely was not having it. I wouldn't expect any less from her. Claire could never give up on me and she reminded me of that every day with her actions. She didn't know what I was capable of, how much blood I spilled, or the whole truth of what I had suffered through, but she knew I was different from her; darker. She carried love and peace, while I carried anger and hate.

Sometimes, she would get a glimpse into the cruelty; someone would whisper into her ear, yet she would fight it. She would defend me because she knew, after everything I went through, I deserved love and compassion. She knew that she was all I had left to hold on to. Our love was unconditional; the only real, pure thing left within me, until him. So even when I messed up, when I broke every value she had, when she thought I was incapable of love or dignity, she would still stay.

"You've barely been home since you got here." She said.

I looked into her honest eyes, feeling guilty. I had been too caught up on him to ever notice that she needed me. I had always been there to listen, guide, and protect her, but suddenly I was lost into the fear of losing him to realize what I had in front of me. My lovely sister; no matter what I lost, even if there was nothing left for me, I would make sure she had everything.

"I'm sorry, Claire." I confessed.

"Are you going to leave again?"

I didn't respond. I didn't have a response. Before him, life was simple. I would run and never look back. I would always protect myself and Claire, and survive. Now, I had no plans or ideas about what I was going to do. I was back in London, the last place I should be. He changed everything. It was a battle between my head and heart. Somehow, my heart won every time.

"You know what mom said. You shouldn't stay for longer than six months anywhere." She reminded me of the cold, hard truth of my life. "Lana, you have to be careful. You're not supposed to be here. You're risking your life."

"I thought you were happy to have me back." I ignored her.

"I am, but I'm worried you've been here longer than I expected."

"Just trust me." I stated.

I should run. I should just forget him, but here I am; running straight into the fire, for him. The tears, the hate, the screams, the abuse; but there's nothing else I would rather have. As long as I am next to him, I am ready to endure it all. I can't leave now. I can't run; I have run far too long.

Claire's eyes couldn't help but let out a tear. "I want to go with you. I miss you, Lana. Let's go."

I watched the tears fall from her eyes. I was not the only one with a decision to make. Claire and I lived our whole lives on the run; from city to city. When we finally came to London, I got lost within him and she lived a normal life. I extended our trip longer than it was supposed to be and she didn't complain. For the first time in her life, she was able to stay long enough to make friends. She fell in love with the city and the day I told her it was time to go, she had lost it.