The cripple and the shieldmaiden

// 7 //

'Where are you going?' Lagertha asked her daughter. Torhild pulled herself in the saddle before facing her mother.
'Take some time for myself, clear my head.' She aswered. Torhild always needed some space just before a new adventure. Tomorrow they would sail back to Engeland, tonight was the sacrifice and now ... she just needed to free her mind, look for some focus. Lagertha nodded and Torhild pushed her horse forward. The white animal pressed his hooved eager in the road, happy to be outside again. The wind flew through her hair, she enjoyed the silence, the nature around her. She rode to the highest part of Kattegat, a vieuw over the sea, the village where the people were hardly to recognize. She let her horse behind in the forest were he could eat while she wandered to the egde of the kliff, looking down on Kattegat. This village had changed so much, not only the people grew, the economy grew, even the houses got bigger. How much she loved some silence in her head now, she wasn't exactly here for that. It didn't took long before she heared another pair of hooves. An equally white horse but with a chariot behind it. She looked at Ivar for a second before she looked back at the vieuw again, it was a beautiful day.

'Why all the way up here.' He grinned when he arrived beside Torhild.
'Complaining because it is a to long walk?' She asked him right back. He looked up at here, his eyes full of mischief. He loved that about her, the stupid jokes that others wouldn't dare to say in his face. She smiled a little and went sit in the grass beside him. 'My mother would kill me if she knew.' Torhild mumured. Lagertha had warned her not to come in contact with Ivar. Past week she didn't saw Ivar much and if she saw him than it was with her mother nearby and if stares could kill ... well, Ivar would. So, Lagertha, even Hvitserk hadn't noticed that she and Ivar talked again.
'They she has to kill me first, what is a good thing, then I have a reason to try killing her.' He said without any form of hessitation. Torhild stared at him until he looked back at her.
'She is my mother Ivar.'
'Yes and Aslaug was mine.' He reacted. Torhild nodded and looked back at Kattegat. She knew there would be a moment in wich Ivar would try to kill her mother. And in that moment she would have to choose between her mother and Ivar knowing that Björn would try to get revenge on the one who killed his mother. It would be a circle that never would stop. It took Ivar always several minuts to let his cold hard personality melt down for her so she just sat there, enjoying the vieuw. 'Are you really gonna come?' He asked after a while. Torhild frowned her eyebrows and looked at him, a little supriced by his words.
'Offcourse, why?'
'Why don't you stay with your mother, protect her?' He said it almost as if it was the most logic thing to do. But Torhild didn't understand where this was coming from.
'So you can kill her when you come back?' The words came out before she could hold them back. Ivar sighed and stared to Kattegat what was just a small image from where they both sat. She imagined the raids for next days, her first travel, her first real fight against an enemy. She had dreamed of this for a very long time.
'What are you thinking about Torhild?' He aksed, a little softer this time. Torhild looked at him and smiled a little.
'How we used to discuss raids when we weren't more than ten years old.' She smiled. Her dark hair felt over her schoulder and she slipt her fingers through it, still dreaming of those innocent moments when she and Ivar sat before the little cottage of Floki. When Ivar was rejected by his family, Floki was the one who took him in on behalf of his mother. Torhild always sneeked of to Floki to see Ivar when they were in Kattegat for business. The thoughts of those memories gave him a small smile on his lips, a smile you rarely saw with Ivar. He was always so angry, twisted inside himself that others didn't see much joy. Torhild saw that other version of Ivar often and she enjoyed every smile he gave, because she knew it was so damn precious.
'You always said that you would took me on the back of your horse.'
'Not really nessecary now.' She grinned with a gaze over her shoulder to his chariot. 'Maybe I am the one who needs a ride now.' He chuckled and she felt back in the grass, strentching her armes above her head. 'How is Engeland?' She asked curious. She saw that Ivar was thinking about it, that he let the memories of Engeland pass in front of his eyes.
'Different,' He began. 'They have castles, better armor,'
'Less strenght?' She guessed. His smile grew bigger on his face as he looked at her and nodded. Vikings were know because of their strenght and brutality.
'I'm not a teamplayer Torhild.' He said eventually. She pushed herself up on her elbows and looked at him, totally confused. 'I rather have you here than there where I need to keep an eye on you.' He explained his earlier words.
'I'm a shieldmaiden, I can handle myself Ivar. Why are you so worried? You're never worried, ever.' Torhild tried to convice him. 'Isn't this what we always dreamed of, raiding together?'
'Will you stay close if I ask you to?' He ingnored her totally and she trew him a frustrating glance.
'Will you sit still if I want to take of your wounds?' She, on her turn, ignored his question. They were both the stubborn kind, how much friendship they had, he never let her touch him. Just as she refused his protection.
'Please Torhild, work with me here.' He almost begged. She tilted her head and gave him a amused smile.
'Getting worried Ivar?' She teased him.
'About you always.'
'That's the first time you say that. I won't be reckless, I will listen to Björn and do as I ask. I only won't follow your command because you only want to keep me safe.' She pushed her finger against his chest and looked how he rolled his eyes. 'Admit it.'
'Is it that bad? That I want to keep you safe.'
'No, it makes me feel loved.' She aswered honestly. 
'You can feel loved with my brother to.' He mumured. She sighed and shook her head while thinking to some good words to get it in his big stubborn head.
'Hvitserk and I had a discussing about you. I said you knew me better, he said you couldn't do what he could,' You felt silent and stood up, stroke the creases out of your dress.
'What did you say to that?' He asked curious. Torhild turned her head and looked at him. 
'I replied the same thing, he can't do what you do.' She smiled tenderly before walking slowly back at her horse.
'Torhild.'
'Ivar?' She replied while turning around and looking at him. He lay on his stomach, watching her with his strong intens look. If he gave her that look the felt like he saw right throught her. But what he was going to say dissapeared in a little doubt before he looked at his old self again, cocky and confident.
'She you at the sacrifice.' He finally said.
'Thats not what you were going to said but yes, I see you tonight.' She said goodbye before walking the last part back to her horse that stood besides the chariot of Ivar. She pulled herself in the saddle and looked at Ivar who sat with his back towards her, still looking at Kattegat. She smiled a little, glad that everything felt back on his place.