smoke || lip gallagher [discontinued]

chapter twenty

phillip gallagher

••

i wake up in a panic, breathing heavily as i follow to unreckonise where i am.

"hey hey, you're alright" someone says, pulling their cold skin against mine.

"lip?" i groan, as i re-open my eyes, to see lip.

"hey, how's everything holding up?" he holds my hands, as i swallow the lump in my throat.

"you shot someone lip-" i say, as he shakes his head.

"he deserved it, okay? i have no regrets, whatsoever" he smiles, as he holds my face.

"liliyah, i think after everything thats happened between us, i feel like i want something more. so i need to tell you something, okay?" lip says, as my smile goes wide.

"go ahead" i say, as i sit up from my bed.

"karens pregnant" lip blurts out, as my smile fades away.

"oh fuck" i say, as i stand up.

"it may not be mine, but theres a chance it will be & i want to support it if it is-" lip says, as i cut him off.

"you tell me this now? jesus christ!" i scream as lip frowns.

"lil, i fucking care for you, i meant a lot-" lip says, before i snap.

"and im fucking inlove with you phillip! but once again, you chose karen" i say, as tears formed in my eyes.

"thats not it" lip growls, as i stand up & open the door.

"just leave" i say, as lip laughs.

"after everything i did for you?" lip says, as i shake my head.

"lip, ive done so much for you & ive always been second best. but dont worry, im leaving. im going back to florida, where i should have stayed" i snap, as his jaw drops.

"your going back?" lip says, he was obviously upset, no attempt to hide his feelings.

"yes lip! ever since i got here, drama has just happened all around me!" i say, as he walks up & cups my face.

our tongues swirl together so perfectly, like they were dancing. he held my waist tightly, as i pushed away from him.

"i love you, but you need to leave" i whisper, as he nods.

"okay" he says, as he walks out the door.

"your leaving?" mickey asks, tears swelled up in his eyes.

"yeah micks, not forever but to much has happened" i smile, as he shakes his head.

"when?" he sniffles, as my throat swells up.

"now, tonight" i say, as i wipe the tears from my eyes.

"i love you micks. i love everything about this place, but im going to die staying here. i hope you understand" i say, as i walk out.

i didnt bother grabbing anything, just myself & money. i could go back to florida, have a normal life again, but is that what i want?

••

after saying goodbye to the beloved milkovichs, i walked over to the gallaghers. they deserved an explanation for why i was leaving.

i knocked on the door, as carl swung it open.

"hey-" carl said, as i hand him a letter.

"give this to fi or lip" i smile, as i kiss him on the forehead & walk down the stairs.

i walked away from the gallagher house, as i saw a taxi & ran towards it.

"can you please drive me to the airport?" i say, as the taxi driver nods.

i sit back & everything i was leaving, what i wrote on the note -

dear gallaghers,

i love you all so much, you took me in as family, when i had no one. you are a crazy, unexpected, suprising family, but yous have such good value. you all deserve the fucking best.

fiona, stop stressing. you are a beautiful, bright, smart, young woman who is raising a family of kids. you are so strong, you deserve the best in life fi, dont let anyone make you think otherwise.

ian, we became friends straight away when i first met you. you are the bright light, full of darkness. you know i love you, you're doing everything so well & please dont be ashamed of who you are.

debbie, i love you debs! you are so selfless, lovable & i will always think of you as my little sister! you are going to grow into such a mature woman, who deserves nothing but happiness!

carl, you are definitely the most suprising one of the bunch. you may not be the smartest kid, but you have great qualities. you're going so far in life, please enjoy it.

lip. lip gallagher, you made me feel something i never felt for anything. you are so much more, than what you see yourself as. im so, so glad to be in love with you. we may not have worked out, but if we ever see each other again, be reminded i gave never forgotten you. you were my first love, we have so much memories together, good & bad. i love you, but that is why i need to let you go. you deserve the greatest phillip.

••

"were here" the man sounded annoyed, as i flashed back to reality.

"oh sorry" i say, passing him the money & getting out. i walked inside the airport & grabbed my ticket. i waited shortly, until the train was boarding.

people scattered everywhere, as i followed them into the line. i looked back behind me to see if anyone was here, but there was no one.

you know in the movies, where the girl leaves & the boy shockingly gets the girl just before the leaves? well sadly, my reality is that there was no one.

i walked down the hall & took my seat on the airplane. this was my life, my old life. goodbye southside.