So, as some of you guys may have read in the previous chapter, I had a pretty rough 2016. And I haven't even finished telling you guys about it. But I might as well tell you how I got through it. Please, share with me your thoughts and feelings.
So, it took a lot of courage for me not to cry in the hospitals. I had two meetings when I was transferred to the last hospital for the week. They were "family" meetings. my first one was with my mom and dad, and it was horrible. I tried to stay strong, but my dad left with tears, and my mom was close to crying too. I went to one of the leaders and I cried to them, telling her how horrible the meeting was. I felt terrible. The one thing that went through my mind was, "This is what I'm doing to my parents. The parents that took care of me."
I did NOT sleep well that night. Then, on my second meeting, my mom dad and brother came. It was decent, but I think that's only because my brother was there. During my hospitalization every patient had the choice to call a family member at a certain time in the day. Everyday, they would ask me if I wanted to call someone, and I said no. I fucking said no.
What I did though, was think about what would happen when I got out of the hospital. I learned that, you have to look past the bad stuff, to get through it. That way, theres always something to look forward to.
I thought about my friends. I thought about my happy memories, and I erased my horrid thoughts. It was hard, but my hopes in returning to the ones that cared about me the most pushed me through it. And I thought, I need to share this with the world, in case ANYONE goes into the dark side and suffers from depression like me.
And even if your not suffering from anything, it's still important to know that ending things won't make anything better. It will just leave unfinished business.
I met some friends, I did some coping classes. But I'll tell you more about that in the next chapter.
Bye guys, don't die...
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Reality Checks // WARNING VERY DEEP AND DARK
Non-FictionA journal, logging every damn second of my life. Well, not literally. Read this to learn from my own mistakes, things that I've seen, how I cope with stuff, and to get a laugh. Some chapters will be personal, but I decided to share them, to share...
