Insanity / Discontinuing Till Further Notice

Chapter 7: Worship

Horrifying, vivid. They weren't really nightmares, at least not to me. They were real, and every night I had to face them. Eventually, I stopped sleeping altogether.

Once my parents realized the problem wasn't being solved, they hired dozens of psychiatrists to help ease the situation. Yet, no matter what they tried, none of them could completely erase the problem. Still, I found ways to try to cope with the nightmares. I learned to be brave, to build an immunity against the fears in my head. I had to learn that fantasy and reality were on two sides of the same coin. Whichever side I chose would inevitably rule my life. So, I did my best to conquer the nightmares.

But one thing never left.

The little girl I had seen so many years ago still haunted me. She'd never left but instead had aged with me. No matter where I went, her presence was never far behind. I would ask her questions, but she refused to speak a word. She'd just watch me. Occasionally I saw a smile on her face as if she found something amusing. Every other moment, she gave me a blank stare.

If only I'd known what she would eventually do to me.

Once she asked me to do the most unspeakable thing, we were in my room a cozy room any five years old would be in she whispered in my ears "Kill your parents." I laughed it off she wasn't even real right why would I be scared of her "sure." I said amusingly. "I'm not kidding." Her voice was intimidating I got frightened and did what any five years old kid would do I ran to my parents far enough to reach the kitchen.

"Mommy help there's the girl in my room again." My mom sighed and told me it was okay while rubbing my back. A couple of minutes later I went back to my room I saw a shadow in the corner giving me a creepy feeling. I didn't say anything but kept quiet I walked closer to her the door slammed close giving me a heart attack.

"Hey what are you doing open the door back!" I screamed loud as I possibly can but she didn't stop the books on the shelf began to move out of place. I smelled a burning substance on the outside of my room. Next thing you know I was on the shoulders of a fireman after that day, I never heard anything from my parents I heard rumors but never believed them cause I knew the truth. They questioned me any way they could even with photos and me drawing but I couldn't speak of that day even to Toby or Jake. The investigators closed the case and it never got solved my life was different but I hoped they were in a better place.

I called myself a monster ever since and I still do now.

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I stared up at the bedroom ceiling, my eyes glued open. How could anyone sleep after a life like that?

I groaned and pressed my head against the pillow.

This was stupid. This whole scenario was just a stupid, ridiculous waste of my life. Kids my age went out late to parties, skipped school, and had the time of their lives. As for me, I'd never had the opportunity for sleepovers or late night gossip sessions. My parents had been too scared.

Even so, this was who I was. I just had to accept that. Seven o'clock rolled by, and I threw myself off the bed. Stumbling, I made my way to the bathroom. Inside, she waited for me. The girl sat on the counter top, tapping her feet against the drawers. Her black hair hadn't changed over the years, only retained its long length. From the maturity in her appearance, we were near the same age. Her dress was the same, but longer, built to fit the woman she was becoming.

We stared at each other for a moment. I sighed before turning on the shower. Our eyes never cut contact, just continued a deadly stare down. Why didn't she just leave me alone? I tried to conceal my irritation with a blank stare.

Fifteen years I had suffered from this girl. I had, had about enough of her. I pushed my fingers against the running water; the temperature was just right. "You could, at the very least," I said hotly. "Turn around so that I have some form of privacy." She rolled her eyes and slowly turned around. I snorted, but undressed quickly and hopped into the shower. I took a deep breath, trying to calm my raging nerves and shaking fingers. It didn't matter what her purpose was. That girl terrified me beyond measure. I only wished I knew why.

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A couple of hours later she was gone. The girl had disappeared; she did that often. I had no idea where she would go and I wasn't concerned about it. The more time I had away from her the better.

I grabbed a towel and went into the bedroom to put on a cream sweater, medium wash skinny jeans & brown boots. I escaped the bedroom and looked for Toby as well as Jake.

I stumbled upon them in the living room Toby had dyed his hair from brown to black, a nice change of pace. It was short and naturally straight, something I had always wished for. His bright blue eyes were mesmerizing to look at, making it hard not to stare.

"You look good," I said giving his hair a slight feel.

"Thanks," Toby said while smirking.

I gave a slight gaze to Jake who was fake vomiting giving us the cold shoulder. Toby and I laughed it off.

"I have been wondering, why can't we have a little fun we can't just stay here forever right?"

I didn't know what to say my mouth was shut my brain was powered off her a few seconds I shook my head.

"UMM..... I thought you would have never asked." I said surprisingly. Why
did I just say that?

"Really, ok," Toby said cheerfully.

"Can I change my clothes before we go?"

"No, you look great why do you have to change my queen looks beautiful." My heart stopped a beat Toby always had been a gentleman, something all the ladies had fallen for. Yet he'd chosen me. The decision had been quite the surprise to many. No one expected him to be going out with one of the awkward, strange kids. But he did.

Still, things were becoming increasingly difficult. After our most recent fight, everything was starting to change. All three of us went inside Jakes car it was a flawless pale gray SUV it was running very well. It handles relatively well. The styling features smooth lines. It has racing tires, automatic everything, a radar detector and an electric engine.

Jake decided to drive "How's everything going with you?" I asked quietly Toby.

"Fine," he said. His smile was fading, and I could feel the tension start to come back. Well, it had only taken a total of three minutes. This wasn't like Toby he has never been this sensitive.

Silence filled the car. I started to squirm, feeling increasingly uncomfortable. How was a girlfriend supposed to handle a disagreement like this? Even so, I could feel the disappointment radiating off him. I rumbled my temples in frustration. Was it worth it to argue at this point? I could just go along with it. But I don't think that was a good idea.

He said nothing, simply stared at me. I tried to ignore the tears that were starting to form in my eyes. I was failing him, one of the most important people in my life. I would have to apologize later. I couldn't always expect him to run back to me.