Beatles Imagines

16. John

"Dearie, why are you still sulking?" Caroline sounded, patting my hair down like a concerned mother often would.

I scowled at her comment, refusing to admit to the truth that was so blatantly there. "I'm not sulking Aunt, I'm just sitting here."

She crossed her thin, wrinkled arms and let out a mighty scoff before turning on her heel. Her actions reminded me of John when he got frustrated, and I sunk lower into the depths of the leather cushions. I watched her as she walked into the kitchen, not bringing myself to do anything but lie on the couch.

"You better change that demeanor of yours before supper. We're having guests over, and I'd rather you not ruin dinner with your sorrow." She chided, turning down her button nose as she slaved over whatever meal she was preparing.

I froze in place, hoping that whomever she was talking about was not John. I had no desire in seeing him, because he was a singing scoundrel who inflicted debilitating pain on me.

He was a player! Oh, and how I fell for that "rebellious bad-boy act". I should've known better that he was like all other teddy boys, and treated women with little respect. I had wasted two months of my life trying to please him and dress up for him, just to have him cheat on me with my next door neighbor.

And now, my Aunt might be inviting him over for dinner! I suppose I couldn't blame the poor woman for it, after all we did keep our relationship under wraps, and until about a week ago, I enjoyed his company-but still.

"May I ask who's going to come over?" I questioned and bit my cheek so hard it drew blood.

"It's John and Mimi. Now go get dressed."

I shook my head, although she couldn't see me, and feverishly looked for some excuse as to not be here while they were. Though she was almost always adamant and stubborn, I thought I'd try my best to remove myself from the events that'd occur later tonight. "I can't be here for dinner tonight, I have to go study with Juliet."

"Who's Juliet?" She pried, sounding weary of my request.

"She's a friend of mine in history and I was going to go to hers to study for our test tomorrow." I half-lied. I didn't have a friend in that class, but I did indeed have an exam tomorrow.

"I don't know her, nor her parents, so I think it'd be best if you stay here." Caroline advised, looking up from her pot which emitted a heavenly scent.

"But-"

"I don't want to hear it. You know the rules."

I nodded, mentally cursing myself that I hadn't chosen a name which she did know. I opened my mouth once again, to plead one last time so that I wouldn't be subjected to such mental torture.

"Can I just study upstairs then while you guys eat dinner? I'm really not all that hungry."

"You can study after dinner. I already told them that you'd be joining us. Now go, they should be here in thirty minutes."

I hung my head, and slowly composed myself. I sighed loudly before standing from the couch where I'd been laying for hours, looking at the ceiling whilst I played out the times John and I spent together over and over again.

~

I heard our front door shut, and I jumped in my place as I heard a pair of footsteps sound throughout the house. I glared at nothing in particular, hearing his voice greet my aunt. He could act as innocent as he wanted, but I knew behind his kind words hid an atrocious being.

I glanced towards the window and contemplated sneaking out to avoid another confrontation, but knew that it'd do no good. Caroline would have me under house arrest, just like last time when I snuck out in the middle of the night to visit the strawberry farm with John.

Sighing, I fastened the backs of my earrings, and looked in the mirror. I saw broken glass staring back at me.

"Hey." I heard a voice sound from behind me, his voice. How lovely.

I really should've jumped out the window when I had the chance.

I poised myself as well as possible, and turned on my heel to face John. His personality was masked by the clothes he adorned. He wore a red sweater and black trousers--probably Mimi's doing--which made him look handsome. His attractiveness spited me.

"Could you get out of my room? I'm getting ready." I questioned with a sarcastic smile, my voice dripping with hatred for him.

"I needed to get away from Mimi. She's been driving me mad the last couple of days." He revealed, as though there was no turmoil between the two of us--as though we were still a couple

"Well I'm sure if you wanted to get away, the next door neighbors would be happy to have you." I shrugged, giving him a small glare before sauntering to my drawer to retrieve my lipstick.

"Way to be civilized."

"Oh, so I'm the one who's uncivilized? That's hilarious, John." I deadpanned, violently opening the tube of wine-colored lipstick. "Absolutely hilarious."

"Look, I'm sorry, okay?" He raised his voice in frustration, making sure to not raise his voice so much that they'd hear our conversation.

At this point, I didn't really care if they found out or not. In fact, I partially wished for them to know so that I didn't have to be forced into situations like these again.

"Tell me something I don't know." I sighed, swiping the color across my lips in the mirror.

Apparently, my words angered him, because the next thing I knew, my lipstick was across the room and I was being pinned to a wall. My breath caught into my throat when he did so, mostly because he caught me off guard. Not because I was afraid he'd harm me, no I wasn't afraid of that.

But I was afraid that I'd let myself cave in to temptation. After all, he was a very influential and persuasive man. Well, that and the fact that I was still mentally grieving over our relationship. Who was to say I was stable enough to be tested this way and not give in?

"I love you." He said, the words leaving his lips making me very apprehensive of their authenticity.

Once upon a time, I used to believe it when he said those words, but now I was very doubtful. If he truly was genuinely in love, then why was he unfaithful to me?

"You don't love me, John." I sighed, looking away from his face as he studied mine. The last thing I needed was to cry again. Any more tears, and I was sure to die of dehydration.

I made myself endure more pain by stating what I felt was the truth. "You never did."

As an act of desperation, he placed his lips upon mine, kissing me feverishly. I reluctantly kissed back, though I knew it wasn't good for the either of us. But I did so anyways, for I wasn't stone cold, nor was I the best at mending my own broken heart.

He kissed like we hadn't seen each other in an eternity; like we'd been estranged for the longest of times and finally found one another again. It gave my heart relief, but at the same time, I felt my mind crumble in agony as it remembered whose lips were on his so soon from today.

Soon, I broke away. "We need to stop."

He had the nerve to ask,"Why?"

"You cheated on me." I let out a small breathy chuckle, though it was far from amusing. "That's why. Now come here."

He raised in eyebrow in confusion, but walked closer. With much hesitation, I brought my hand up to his face and wiped my lipstick off of him. His face looked weary of my doing, but his eyes gleamed with hope. I sighed, making haste to my actions.

Unable to fulfill his needs, and unable to fulfill my own, I walked out the door without another word.