This book here are chapters of things that many of us girls look for in a serious, romantic relationship with a great guy who only gives us great, positive qualities in both himself and in the relationship. Having an idea of what you look for in a p...
Are You Ready for a Relationship? 5 Things to Consider
Are You Ready for a Relationship? 5 Things to Consider By Lily Herman in RELATIONSHIPS Posted Jul 07 2015 - 07:00pm Tagged SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS RELATIONSHIPS Relationships can be messy, especially in the beginning. After all, committing to take care of another person can be difficult if you jump into a relationship too quickly or without taking a second to reflect on what you want from your campus cutie.
So what should you think about before change your Facebook status to "In a relationship"? Here are five things to consider:
1. Get involved for the right reasons.
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One of the simplest questions to ask yourself is why you want a relationship in the first place. Is it because you really like this person, or are you trying to distract yourself from other problems?
Dr. Jane Greer, a New York-based relationship expert and author of What About Me? Stop Selfishness from Ruining Your Relationship, acknowledges that there are definitely some not-so-awesome reasons for entering a relationship. "Some wrong reasons for getting into a relationship are agreeing to go out just because he's more invested in it than you are and is making you feel guilty, starting a new relationship only because all of your friends are dating someone and being with someone just to feel secure with a partner rather than for the feelings you have for that particular guy," she says.
Jackie*, a senior at Wesleyan University, didn't think about her reasons for getting involved with her then-boyfriend, Conner*. "I had just gotten out of a pretty serious relationship that lasted over three years, and I met Conner about a month later and immediately decided to date him because I missed the companionship," she says. "It ended up being the quintessential messy rebound relationship. We didn't mesh well at all, I subconsciously compared him to my ex-boyfriend and, looking back, I feel like I just wasn't fair to him."
Overall, Jackie wishes she'd given more thought beforehand to why she wanted a relationship in the first place. "If I'd just stopped to think about it, I would've realized that I was doing it because I was hurt, not because I was invested in any type of future with Conner," she says.
So how can you make sure that you're not jumping into things too quickly? Dr. Greer suggests you go out with a couple of people to ensure that this relationship is the one you want. "Before college women invest all their time and energy into a single relationship, they should give themselves the opportunity to date multiple guys and be open to different types of people before settling down," she says. Have a little fun hanging out with many different people!
2. Know how long you can see yourself with this person.
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