Interwebs; Phan

eleven

It was cold in Dan's room. His phone was laying across his stomach feeling as if it was a brick weighing down with the weight of his world.

Things between him and Phil were awkward to say the least. It was small conversations throughout the day for a while until they actually texted like normal people.

They hadn't verbally spoken in weeks and it hurt Dans chest. He wanted to hear his voice not so animated like in his videos. He wanted authentic Phil.He wanted his Phil even if it was for a moment.

They weren't close as they were before. They were still building a friendship but off of something more. Dan somehow new this would happen though.

He still looked at Phil on his screen the same way somehow. He still smiled when he made a goofy joke or blushed if he winked. His stomach still flipped at the little things he did or said. It's just when he brings up things Dan knows what hes talking about.

he'll say something."I was talking to my friends" or " which i heard from my friends" and Dan will remember the chats. The ones Dan try's to ignore.

His room was silent. An awful silent that hurt his ears and burned his throat like a hot knige. He wished it was filled with laughter and chuckles but it was sufficed with the slow puffs he heard coming from his oxygen tank.

His tank sat by his bed. For when he feels his chest clench and burn as it tries to take in oxygen. He knew when he needed and when he knew he would be fine. It was just becoming more recent he needed it more.

His cancer. The thing that's ruining everything slowly spreading and dying inside of him. His medications on prolonging his suffering by letting him on the verge of crisis before killing it before it could kill him.

If it didn't hurt so bad. If every time he thought about it he would remember blue eyes and warm smiles. He would stop his medicine. He'd let it kill him for once. It deserved to win.

He hated his cannula though.It would wrap around him while slept and it tickled his nose if not set a right way and it was hell when his nose was dry.

His lounge of self pitty was cut short when his phone started to scream at him alarming him and breaking his daz3. He lifted it off his stomach not recognizing the number.

Worried it was important he answering clearing his throat and cracking a "hello?"

"uh, is this Dan"
He knew that voice to well.

His stomach swelled before sinking.

It was Phil. His Phil with the sweet laugh and the curclean eyes. But it was Phil. With the scared tone and hessitant jokes.

"Hey Phil" He replied deciding to let his stomach swell with happiness. Because it was Phil at least

"Pj gave me your number again. And I had nothing better to do tonight but call you" Phil said with a weary chuckle.

"Oh!Okay" Dan said enthusiastically almost just ending himself then because he sounded like an idiot.

"So. Your voice. It's...Oh god never mind" Phil said his voice deeper than normal. "It's a little scruffy lately but it's better" Dan said back clearing his throat like he was trying to prove his point.

"No it's sweet. Your voice is beautiful and posh. Like my own little queen"Phil laughed but for real and sure enough Dans stomach flipped.

They'd talked on the phone.But it always brief and rushed and was grainy because it was through the app they texted on.

"How sweet" Dan scoffed jokingly.
They teased back and for like this eventually falling into a pattern and before they knew it the awkwardness had dissolved like sugar and left behind nothing but sweet.

(A NEW BEGINNING. This is my writing now so I'm editing what I've done previously because it was really bad tbh.)