Slam

the changers ; the dreamers

If you ask me to tell you about today's day
i'm gonna tell you about struggle
i'm not gonna tell you
about the man who calls himself a president
and im not gonna tell you about the people who voted him, stepping over the heads of the minorities
im gonna tell you about us, the minorities
us whose heads bleed because of how hard they've been stepped on
us whose hands are tired of working the ground they feed in
us whose eyes have seen too much injustice
whose eyes have seen partners and friends and lovers destroyed
from the inside out
by this world of madness
us. We are the ones left
We are the ones they could not defeat
yet

but when i talk to you about today's day
im talking about that 'yet'
im gonna talk about being terrified
im gonna talk about the 100 suicides there are in every country of the world
every single day
im gonna talk about the kids who would rather disappear
fade
be floating into thin speace
than be here
im gonna tell you about depression anxiety panic attacks bipolar disorder borderline disorder asperger autism OCD PTSD insomnia cronic fatigue and the thousands of illnesses that make life so much harder to live
im gonna tell you about the youth who is fighting
who choses every day to stay alive to see
if things get better
or easier
or just more bearable
im gonna tell you about the youth who's gonna change the world
about how much i trust them
how much i hope this will be the generation remembered for destroying the patriarchy
or homophobia
or gender normativity
or racism
or xenophobia
or all of them
but if we're not
at least i am going to remember us as the people who fought
like many have before us
because when i talk about today's day
i talk about every march each one of us left their lives in
some, metaphorically
others, literally

so if you say to me
"talk about today's day"
i will stutter
and my voice
will tremble
maybe i cant help my throat from closing and my look from drowning and my legs from shaking
for when i talk about today's day
im gonna talk about how at night
when i go to bed
the soundtrack of my dreams are the bullets that are being fired on the streets
the soundtrack of my dreams are the screams
of a woman
and the crying of her kids
the soundtrack of my dreams is the muted voice of all those women like her who do not dare to scream
of all the kids like those who are not able to cry anymore because they've used all their tears
to ask for mercy

when i talk about today's day
i talk about working hard for nothing at all
i talk about cigarettes burning against skin
i talk about how little we love
about how much we hate
about the howl of the wolves in my head
and how they hunt me
when the sky is dark
when i come back home
when im alone

if i have to talk about today's day
i'll do it with both my hands over my chest so that at the same time i talk
i can ask all of you
to forgive me
i was also born in this world
i am also a sinner
not a sinner of the lord
not a sinner of the bible
not a sinnee of no god who denies me
a sinner of hatred
a sinner of ignorance
a sinner of lack of education
and because no one tought me how to love, i've given obsession and jealousy and fake romance
to those who only needed and deserved someone to hold hands
and because no one tought me we're all equal despite being so different
because no one tought me to embrace it
i dispised my own difference
and condemned other's so forgive me
but forgive yourselves as well
know that everything you are and anything you feel is OK
as long as it doesn't harm anyone else

when i talk about today's day i talk about how i changed the pronouns in everything i wrote to feel better about being gay
i talk about the way i told my mother i didn't know if i was comfortable with being called "a girl"
i talk about the pain in the arms of my father the first time i tried to kill myself

when i talk about today
i talk about the day my best friend lost her job because a man thought she was not enough woman for it
i talk about how we believe an organ can define us
how we believe a color can define us
how we believe a shape can define us

when i talk about today
i talk about us writers
trying to breath through letters because somebody once covered our mouths and told us to shut the fuck up
i talk about them workers, about them teachers, about them lovers, about their children
i talk to all of you
to ask you
to be writers, and create a new future with every word
to be writers of your own life and to never let anyone in the world
write in your book without your permission
to be strong
to be vulnerable
and to stop thinking vulnerability means wakness
and to write in sugar paper so that your pages never have to taste bitter
and to write in sunshine so that the dark cannot conquer your story
and to write with the lights off so that we stop relating dark with misery
i ask you to be workers,
of your own minds and souls
to go down to the core
to deconstrct yourselves
to laugh at yourselves and with yourselves again
to walk with no shoes
to feel pain not as a punish but as another blessing of being alive
to feel the void
to feel nothing
to ask yourselves why
i ask you, if you may, to be teachers of this life
if you figure any of this out, please let us know because we are just as lost
be a teacher for those who still haven't realised all of us have the same right to exist
be a teacher as much as a student
learn everyday
Living 101 is a class you should never stop taking
Honey, i know it's hard as hell
but may i ask you if you could please be a lover?
to love yourselves so no one else has to
to love one another
to hug each other
to open your heart up for every person who needs you to
tho be careful, the ones who need can be liars too
oh, but you, you who are so beautiful the world should kneel before your smile
you whose hands can trumble down a million walls
you whose body is art
whose scares are history
you whose mind is darkness melting into the purest light of the universe itself
adore every human being who walks this earth so firecly that they never even get to know hate
and when you're done
do it all over again
be a children all over again
look at the one you love straight in the face and say
"i love you"
even if the one you love is you, has to be you first
step down of your own structure
look at your life from outside
get what you want
dont frustrate if you don't
make a paper plane and put every single one of your fears in it then send it flying to jupiter
leave that phone
get bored
learn to get bored
breath the sick grey air of the city through your nose
look at the acid rain
promise nature you are doing the best you can
be conscious
raise consciousness

So that in the future
when they ask us to talk about our generation, back in the day,
we can say
"we were the ones who changed everything for the better"
We were the ones who gave the final punch so that this system would fall and finally break
now is up to you, the new generation,
to build a new world up again.

  ∞