Amnesia • Calum Hood

•Chapter Thirty-Seven•

On top of being scary and hauntingly dismal, hospitals were also giant mazes.  Every turn I took brought me back to a hallway I'd already been through, and no matter how many doors I pushed passed or vague signs I tried to decipher, I couldn't escape this death-laced prison.

It was around my third or forth time in the same big lobby, and I was growing desperate.  My body needed fresh air, space away from the constricting walls that grew ever closer.  If I stayed in here much longer, I'd go more crazy than I already had.

The only upside of being trapped inside of this labyrinth was that Calum couldn't find me.  He was no doubt trailing the same hallways I was, searching for me as I searched for a way out.  I didn't want him to find me, didn't want him to touch my poisonous skin and melt into a pile of ash.  If I was going to break down, go crazy, lose my mind, then I didn't want him there to witness it.  That kind of destruction was enough to crush a person forever.

I rounded a corner and felt my heart break as I saw the same damn lobby I'd just been in minutes ago.  There was the same waiting room to the side, the same desk with the same washed out women sitting behind it.  The same elevator dinged in the same ear-piercing tone, the same mumble of activity droned on through the flat air.

A nurse who must've seen my horrified expression paused beside me and asked, "What are you looking for, dear?"  Her scrubs were wrinkled and her hair was slightly disheveled.  Judging from the tired look on her face, she'd been working for a while.

My mouth opened and closed a few times before I could reply.  "I just wanna get out, but I can't find the damn entrance..."  Hell, I didn't even know what floor I was on.  If my pulse wasn't racing faster than a thoroughbred horse I might've been able to figure it out, but the anxiety striking like a hammer in my body was far too much for my fried brain to handle.  I felt stupid along with everything else, which was just the perfect cherry on top my chaotic sundae of emotions.

The nurse gave me a polite smile, one I'd seen far too much today.  "It's alright.  Just take that elevator there down a floor and it'll lead you right to the front entrance.  Have a good day."  I didn't even bother to thank her before rushing off to the elevator.  Large silver doors closed behind me after I walked in, alone in the tiny room as I leaned my hands on the wall.

What was I doing?  Where I was I supposed to go?  My father was here, my problems were in this building.  My heart was also here, still in Calum's pocket where I'd left it.  My hope and my misery were all here, mixing as one, and I was running away from both.

Something I'd done once before.

But this time was different.  I didn't know where I was going to go, but I knew it wasn't far.  This time, although my head was screaming, it still possessed some sense of logic even under the stressful situation.  I would run, but not far enough for me to be lost again.

Run was the operative word.  Calum and I had come here in one car, and I wasn't about to leave him stranded in the parking lot without a way to get home.  So I veered away from my red truck and just started walking.

The roads weren't busy at this time of day, but I was still terrified of the cars that roared by.  My strides were long and brisk, carrying me farther and farther from my responsibilities with every step.  My eyes never left the pavement, trained on the concrete a few feet in front of me at all times.  I wasn't particularly numb, because I could feel the light breeze on my skin, but I just didn't think anything of it.

Eventually my thoughts traveled back to the man I'd left behind, the one who was supposedly my father.  The sick, drunk sack of bones who'd been laying in a bed without a hope in the world.  He needed to quit drinking, needed to go to rehab, needed assistance and guidance.